Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy Holidays!!!!

It's that time of year!!!!

I am currently packing for Jamaica. I am leaving tomorrow to meet my parents....who are already down there.

We decided to mix it up this year...so I'll be spending Christmas down there this year with them and some assorted uncles/aunts/cousins etc etc etc.....

Anyway I will be back for New Years as JR is coming to spend some time in the city. I haven't seen him since Spring Break in March so it'll be fun to celebrate the new year with an old friend.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

IT'S GREAT TO BE A FLOOORRIIDDDAAA GATOR!!!!



Say hello to the 2008 SEC Champions (and future National Champions in less than a month)

I'm so excited! The BCS Championship game is going to be in Miami this year and that really bodes well for us! We are playing great, we fucked up Alabama this evening WITHOUT Percy Harvin so god help whoever plays us in that title game when we're all healthy.

Tebow might even get the Heisman again this year. That boy is a BEAST and he is playing ridiculously well!



GO GATORS!!!!

**EDIT**

So it looks like we are playing Oklahoma in the title game. Boys, this is going to be a game to watch....it's gonna be WILD. I mean, two insane offenses....there are def going to be fireworks. Honestly, I would have much preferred to play Texas as I think we would have an easier time with them but I think we'll be alright on the 8th. Dan, I hope y'all are coming prepared because if you're not a Gator...your GATOR BAIT!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Turkey Day!!!



Here's wishing everyone has a great holiday weekend with family and friends!!!

When we get back we've got MUCH to discuss....

Holler!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Since It Seems To Be 007 Weekend.....

I should brag and say that today at work, I got a chance to help out Jeffrey White aka Felix Leiter from Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace!



What a cool guy!

He was really chill and unpretentious. I told him how much I enjoyed his performances in the last two films and he was totally gracious. And OMG....his son is THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!! I swear to you, I thought Will Smith's son was adorable but this little one might give him a run for his money on the real!

He was shopping with his wife Carmen who was working it out in some fierce as hale jacket, homegirl was turning it out!!!!

They have to be the cutest celeb couple that I've seen in the store thus far. Really classy family!

Personally She Annoys The Hell Out Of Me.....

But I have to admit...the bitch can put on a performance and work it out



So there I guess I have to concede....

The skit with Justin Timberlake was Hee-lar-i-ous!!!!


Is it bad that I think that looks really good in heels?

LMFAO!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

My Thoughts on QoS...

Ok so plot-wise, Quantum of Solace is definitely not as good as Casino Royale. The villain in this movie is a pussy ass bitch and the whole premise was kinda blah..

With that being said, you should ABSOLUTELY still go out and see this movie...because Daniel Craig is amazing.





Like, seriously.....the entire time I was sitting in the theater the same two things kept on incessantly popping into my head...

#1: Daniel, one night you need to like bust thru my bedroom window, put me in some crazy MI:6-type headlock and fuck the shit out of me.......

#2: But before you leave, you REALLY are going to have to leave me the number to your tailor, because those suits are so flawless!!!

Y'all, he was so scorching hot in this movie I can't even describe. His swagger was off the charts and OMG the suits bb's...the suits! I don't think I have ever seen a man look so good in a suit in my entire life. I mean, I know this is Bond and all, but his wardrobe was all kinds of fly in this movie.

HAHA! Go watch it!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Preach!!!!



You tell 'em bb!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

YES WE DID!!!!!



OMG, I am so elated!

What a night!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

ELECTION DAY...WHOOHOO!

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run to class and then skip on over to Duane Reade to purchase a box of tissues that I will inevitably making good use of tonight (hopefully for the right reasons...LOL)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Exciting Days Ahead!

This post really has no point other than to say that im TOTES excited for the events coming up within the next week...

We've got...

- Halloween
- Florida/Georgia Game
- My Birthday

ANDDDDDDD

ELECTION DAY!!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEE :)

If my birthday wishes come through, Florida will have de-stroyed Georgia, my first "out" birthday will have been a success and Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the US!

(I would also ask for a really cute boy in there somewhere but I don't want to get to greedy LOL!)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Should I Give Up My iPhone?

So I love love love my iPhone...but lets be serious, it is becoming kinda ubiquitous no?

It seems like everyone has one now, and while this is great news for my AAPL shares, it kinda sucks the individuality right out of me...haha!

Hence why I got super-duper excited when I heard about this brand new baby....





The AURA features the world’s first circular display with 16 million colors and 300 dpi resolution.


The display is covered with Grade 1, 62-carat sapphire crystal lens, one of the most scratch-resistant materials on earth, and the housing is crafted from stainless steel that is electro- and hand polished, chemically etched, and PVD coated. The handset has an assisted-opening blade that is comprised of a Swiss-made, custom-engineered rotating mechanism with 130 precision ball bearings and custom Tungsten Carbide Coated Gears.

To separate the phone from the full, we should tell you that the AURA sports quad-Band GSM 850/900/1800/1900, EDGE, a 2 MP Fixed Focus camera, Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR with A2DP, text and email messaging, multimedia playback, and a yet to be named open source browser. It is expected to launch worldwide at the beginning of Q4 2008.

So the specs are super-duper whack but listen, it is sooo pretty HAHA!

Just like I like my men, beautiful with no substance....

LMFAO...JUST KIDDING!!!!

But seriously, this phone reminds me of the Motorola V70 I used to have back in like 03. Back in the day, that shit was a showstopper! I mean at that point, no other phone on the market had a rotating bezel. Then I traded up to the V80 that had the rotating faceplate and crazy rhythm lights that responded to whatever sounds were in the environment. HA! I was young and dumb...and I thought that 'ish was so fresh! LOL!

Fast forward to 08...and you can see that this phone isn't really that impressive at all....

And then I come to find out that it's gonna cost $1,999 at launch....

THEY MUST BE HIGH AS HELLLLLLL!

For that kinda money, that phone better give me one touch dialing to Jesus himself!

Can you hear me now?

We Came To A Conclusion....

So I was chatting with homegirl the other night in the subway station and while looking at some of the advertisements we had an epiphany....

Daniel Craig is THE HOTTEST UGLY MAN ON THE PLANET



Now bear with me as I try to explain....

I think that I've discussed my mild fascination with him on the blog before, but the subject deserves a major revisit seeing as tho the new Bond film comes out in like 3 weeks...

You see, the guy isn't conventionally attractive at all.

I mean, he has beady eyes, huge ears, a rough complexion among other things....

But for some inexplicable reason he is still so fuckin gorgeous...



What is it?

Is it the fact that he is British?

Is it his persona?

His body?




Oooooo maybe it is his body! LMAO!!!

No really though, it isn't just that....he just has something about him. I cannot even hope to explain it.

In any case, November 14th cannot come fast enough...I am gonna be THE FIRST person in that theater to watch Quantum of Solace. I am sooo excited!



I hope they put his sexy ass in some more square-cut bathing suits...mmmhmmmmmphf!

*claps furiously*

Friday, October 24, 2008

Funny Stories...

So a couple of funny/interesting things happened to me this afternoon. I figured I would share...indulge please me.

I had an hour break from work today so I figured I'd do what any other young, bored and semi-fashionable gay guy in NYC would do.......annnddd I went shopping. For those of you who know me IRL, you know that this is most certainly NOT a shock...LOL!

Anyway, so I'm on Bleecker in W. Village heading to my future husband/sugar daddies' store (Marc Jacobs) to check out some of his new stuff and I see this odd silhouette in front of me. His back was to me and I could tell that he had a pretty nice body for someone his age.....super tall, tapered waist, broad shoulders etc, etc.

I say "someone his age" because is most identifiable characteristic was his hair.

IT WAS SNOW FUCKIN WHITE Y'ALL!

I actually think that is what drew my eyes in the first place because I have never in my life seen someone with that shade of hair!

I'm talking about just straight up white, no gray at all....and it was FULL TOO...no scalp!

So naturally I was kinda intrigued because for whatever reason in my mind, that body just didn't match with that head of hair. I know this sounds silly, but you never associate such an athletic body with old man hair....but I digress

So I walked a bit faster so I could catch up to "Mr. White" and see if the front matched the back....

Y'all are NOT gonna believe who it was.....




I'll have you know that it was MOTHERFUCKIN' TED DANSON!!!!!!


Dead serious!

I chuckled at myself for getting excited over Ted Danson LMFAO....but for real, he looks really good from the back. He is a handsome man for sure.....don't laugh at me I SWEAR to you I don't have an old man fetish!

LMFAO!

(He does have a really nice ass though....)

OK I'LL STOP, I'LL STOP...SWEAR!

_________________________________________________

Ok next funny story......

So since I was in the neighborhood I figured I'd run over to Y-3 in Meatpacking and see if they had any hot new stuff. Last time I was there they had this sick pair of sneakers but they were totally sold out of my size and they couldn't locate them anywhere. Boooooo

Anywho, so there is that park on the corner of 8th and Bleecker right? Well, I used to love that park but now I hate it because it is associated with the train-wreck that is Ryan. I know it is really cheesy but on our first date (after dinner) we had Magnolia cupcakes on a bench in that park. It had just finished raining so he thought it would be cute to take off his rainjacket and spread it on the bench so we wouldn't get wet...

UGGGGGGGHHHHHH IM GAGGING AS WE SPEAK (or as I type)

How ridiculously maudlin..UGHHHHH

In what world did I ever think that was cute?????

Don't answer that, back to the story......

So I guess I was looking at the park and reminiscing about old times when I noticed this woman and her giant dog in my line of sight. It looked like a St. Bernard or something....just ridiculously big, and of course this woman was all of 5 feet 2 inches. Honestly, what possess someone to own such a large dog in the city? Where is that bitch supposed to play?



Anyway, I quickly found out the answer to that question........

So I was looking at the dog from the side and when I first spotted it was stationary. As I walked closer to 8th Ave, I guess it heard me coming and turned around......



Do you know this was a THREE-LEGGED DOG?!?!?!

SWEAR TO YOU, BITCH ONLY HAD...ONE....TWO...THREE...COUNT 'EM......LEGS!

Now listen, my first inclination was too giggle but I quickly stopped myself because I realized that this was horribly insensitive.



But then this ol' heffa shot me the death stare like "bitch, who the fuck do you think you are laughing at my dog?!?!?"



Um, ma'am lets be real for a second mmmkay?

You've got a three-legged St. Bernard.......

And you're walking it in the city.....

And it is hopping around....

And you HONESTLY EXPECT people not to have some sort of reaction to that?

Granted, it wasn't the most ideal reaction, but you just to realize that such things come with the territory. For what is worth, I apologize......









Now go run along and play catch with your dog





:)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

O RLY?



Can you imagine people like this still exist?

"If Obama wins....the blacks will take over?"

"I don't like the fact that he thinks us white people are trash.."

REALLY MA'AM?!?!?!

P.S. THESE ARE DIRECT QUOTES TAKEN STRAIGHT FROM THE VIDEO. I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED.

Unfortunately I did not get the memo that black people were taking over. If anyone out there got it, please forward it to me STAT...

You know, I don't want to get left behind when the rest of my "negro brethren" take over the country.

I wonder what Obama will put me in charge of?

You Know What....You're Right Sen. McCain....



Because that is EXACTLY how I felt after I watched your digusting, mean spirited performance last night.....

As old ladies from the South would say....

"Bless your heart baby...it'll all be over soon mmmkay?"

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Made A Bet With Justin Today...

I don't think he thought I was serious when I said I was gonna blog about this but I am nothing but a man of my word!

So everyone is familiar with my dear friend Justin right?

Well today on AIM I made him a deal that he would honestly have to be a fucking fool to pass up.

I told him that if he quit smoking by the end of the year that I.....wait for it........




I'll totally bottom for him the next time I see him.



You heard it hear first y'all, that how much I care about this guys health!!!!!!

And honestly, what better motivation is there for one to quit smoking than a hot piece of chocolate?

If that doesn't make you drop your box of Camels....well then there is no hope for you bb.

I suggest you snatch up some boxes of Nicorette because you have little over 2 months left on this one time special offer.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

OMG R.I.P. Paul!!!!!



So if you didn't hear, Paul Newman died yesterday at his house in Connecticut.

:(

Honestly one of the best actors EVER.....and one of the most generous too! I know that he gave a lot (if not all..I don't remember) of the proceeds from his Newman's Own brand of products over to charity.

A truly classy guy, and one of the most handsome men ever to grace the screen!

Real Talk!

This Made Me Smile



Tina and Amy win at life!

If anyone saw the real interview between Palin and Couric earlier this week....you'll realize that this sketch isn't really that far off....



And that my friends..........is a travesty.

Friday, September 5, 2008

This Is Why Jon Stewart Needs To Be My Baby Daddy....



The blatant hypocrisy from these people never ever cease to amaze me.

I don't know why I still am shocked....I suppose I really shouldn't be at this point, but I really cannot help it.

I suppose would be hilarious if it wasn't so simultaneously frightening.......

------------------------

In other news, I actually ran into Lindsay Lohan in SoHo yesterday while leaving work. I've gotta say, it is definitely one of the most random moments that I've had in NYC thus far. I actually bumped into one of her handlers (the blonde chick in the link) while I was txt'ing away, totally oblivious to the world around me. Being the Southern Gentleman that I am, I said excuse me and stepped to the side....only then realizing that mofo Lindsay Lohan was tip-toeing behind her.

LMFAO @ Lindsay Lohan trying to act inconspicuous in broad daylight in SoHo of all places....





Anyway, I stood frozen on the sidewalk as she passed...it was kinda surreal. Everyone was really respectful and no one hounded her but you could totally see the sea of people on Prince Street slowly parting ways to let her and her posse through....LOL!

It was the most bizarre thing, people would be in mid-conversation and just stop...and move out of the way.....and just stare....

Can you imagine getting that reaction everytime you walked out of your house? No wonder these people are so maladjusted.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Desperation.....



McCain, you're so transparent.....

You pick a first term governor from the most insignificant state in the Union with no foreign policy experience to be your VP?!?!

Could it be because she has ovaries?

Could it be your still trying desperately to court the disgruntled Hillary supporters who want a woman in the White House by any means necessary?

Bless your heart John (my grandmother's words, not mine) it still isn't going to work bb....

Gov. Palin, please do your homework because when that Vice Presidential debate comes around I suspect that Sen. Biden is going to have a field day with you.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Homerun......





Just two more months....I can't wait!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Annnddddddd I'm Back!

Sorry I've been gone so long guys, I've been super-duper busy with moving and stuff...

Plus I just got internet installed in my apartment yesterday...LOL!

It feels great to finally be back in the 21st century with the rest of you guys. It's funny, you don't realize how much you depend on modern conveniences until you don't have them anymore! For the last month, my only connection to the digital world has been my iPhone and let me tell you, even though it is one of the best mobile computing platforms out there, it just can't replace a good ol' fashioned desktop and high-speed connection!!!!

Anyway, we have so much to catch up on! First off....how great were the Olympics this year?!?!?! I caught bits and pieces of it since we don't have a TV yet, but I didn't miss any of the real good stuff thank god! Michael Phelps was an obvious highlight but what I really want to discuss is how fucking AMAZING Jamaica did this time around......we owwwnnnnn Track and Field yo!






I don't know if I explicitly mentioned this on the blog before but both of my parents were born and raised in Jamaica and I am pretty sure that about 50% of my extended family still lives on the island. Needless to say, we've all been ridiculously elated with the results of our countrymen this time around. Usain Bolt is a mofo'ing B-E-A-S-T!!! World record here, gold medal there, he was most definitely doing his thing this time around.

The only low point was when our girls fucked up that 4x100m relay....they went into it being the heavy favorites and just messed up that handoff. Honestly, that is just being really picky though, because we won or placed in like every other track and field event this year (18 medals in all I think) so it is whatever :)

In personal news, I plan to come out to Whorehouse Boy he comes into town for the upcoming Labor Day weekend. I am about 80% certain that he will take it in stride, he rarely gets worked up over anything. I hope I'm right. At least now we can openly laugh about how he tried to get me prostitutes while we were backpacking in Costa Rica...LMFAO!!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Most Ridiculous Invention Ever!

I just received the craziest email from one of my friends!

Did you guys hear about this?!?!?!



Apparently some German researcher has invented a spray-on condom.....

As I understand it, you stick your dick into a chamber, then press a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto your lil' buddy in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that this guy, Jan Vinzenz Krause, is working on shortening the drying time to about 10 seconds.

So how does this condom come off ? Apparently, (hopefully) the rubber dries on quickly after it is sprayed on and is then ready to use. When no longer in use the spray-on condom can be easily rolled off and thrown away just like a regular condom.



Im sorry, but I don't trust this shit ONE BIT! Who is gonna test this out?

Show of hands...........no one?

I'll tell you what, it most definitely will not be me. Call me old fashioned, but I don't want anything painted on Lil' K. Plus, where is the cum supposed to go?

This seems like such a bad idea....I mean who asked for this?

And how big of a dumbass are u gonna look like in the bedroom with a huge penis pump, spray-on canister looking thing on your cock? That would most certainly kill the mood....no?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

OMG...YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHO I MET TODAY!

So I totally met one of my idols today....it kinda made my summer...HA!

So I am at the cash register, ringing up this Asian tourist when all of a sudden I hear a gasp and the subsequent crash of a hanger falling next to me. Not really thinking much about what was goin on, I automatically bent down to pick up the fallen hanger and as I was straightening myself up, my co-worker (who dropped the hanger) was like "OMG K, IT IS MOTHERFUCKIN CHRISTIAN!"



So then I shot up and was like, "SAYYY WHUT...WHERE....STOP LYIN!!!"

Surely enough, Mr. Siriano was all up in the store looking every bit the fierce bitch that he was on tv.

OMG, the guy is T-I-N-Y!!!!

Im serious, no more than like 5'5 y'all and like 130 soaking wet.

He was rocking this fly as HALE murse and some super duper skinny jeans that looked like he got from Osh-Kosh.

He could be wearing a trash bag and I wouldn't care, he can do no wrong!

Anyway, since I was zoned at the cash wrap all day I could not leave the register to help him on the floor BUT I did get a chance to ring him up and he is such a sweetheart! He bought a black sweater (surprise...LOL) and he was really pleasant.

Let me also say that you really don't notice it all that well on TV and online, but Christian truly has stunning eyes. They are like this really weird shade of green that I don't think I've ever seen before. Up close they are kinda intense, I've gotta say.



I told him how much I enjoyed him last season and how happy I was that he won and he said thank you. All and all he was really pleasant and I am happy that I didn't take off today like I was thinking about doing this morning...HA! I mean, I woulda missed him.

What a crazy world huh?

Christian is definitely up there in my top celeb encounters in NYC thus far.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I'm Still Alive...Promise

Hey guys, I've been neglecting the blog a bit but I can assure you that I am still alive and kicking! Just a couple of quick updates....


#1: Things with Ryan are basically at a friendship level right now.

Without going into all the details and whatnot, he basically proved himself not to be boyfriend material. I can honestly say that I am really at a stage now where I can say that I am ready to start building a real, solid relationship with someone and unfortunately he isn't. It is kind of a bummer but I am glad I dealt with it now, the in the beginning stages, rather than later down the road. It kinda sucks because I thought I saw something there that kinda turned out not to be that serious. All and all I'm looking at it as a learning experience and I am happy for it regardless of the fact that I didn't get the outcome that I wanted.

I still think we can be friends though, so that is good. I mean, things are not awkward between us for the most part and I am thankful for that. Anyway, on to better news....

#2: Got a new apartment!

So I am moving August 1st into a truly HUGE 3br apartment in Harlem. It is in a really nice building on a quiet street and the best part is that I am living with two really cool (so far) gay guys. I found it on Craigslist and the ad just kinda jumped out at me. I went over there on Tuesday to check out the place and I was really blown away by the sheer size of the place. I mean, for Manhattan this place is HUGE.....we are talking upwards of 1400 sq ft! The kitchen could literally be a studio apartment in and of itself...it is so big. We even have a dishwasher (which I have not seen in any NYC apartment...not even Penthouse Girl's apt in Murray Hill!)

Needless to say I am liking my new digs, and the fact that I am living with two really cool gay guys in their 20s pretty much seals the deal. I've only met one so far and he is great. He seems extremely down to earth and just an all around, genuinely nice guy. Plus he is an elementary school teacher, so you just know that he has to be the sweetest person ever...HAHA!

Anyway, I am super excited to move and even more excited to go to IKEA and buy new furniture and decorate (so gay right LOLOL?!?!?) Pops gave me a furniture budget (so lame right LOLOL?!?!?) so I am going to the new IKEA in Brooklyn tomorrow with Columbia Girl to throw down! I'm not gonna lie....I'm kinda excited.

#3: Project Runway is gonna ROCK this season!

OMG who watched the premiere last night? I'm totally gonna love this season for the man-candy alone!!! I've got some favorites....

First off...KEITH, YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME, MMMKAYYYY!!!!!!!!


Also...

Wesley, rockin those short shorts looking all adorable and stuff....let's cuddle sometime, mmmkay?



(Side note: my friend CNN Boy is acquaintances with his ex-college roommate/fuck buddy and I just found out about this via email like two days ago...small world)

And last but not least....my gurl Korto had her model wurkin it last night with that yellow table cloth/green, leafy vegetable sash/ tomato broach dress. BITCH KILLED IT!!!!



*snap in Z formation* LOL!

You totally shoulda won boo, but keep your head up...you will go far! Who knew that people could construct dresses from materials at a Gristedies! Honorable mention goes to Daniel who made the dress out of Solo plastic cups....mad creative!



#3: I went to a taping of the Daily Show today!

So Columbia Girl got us tickets to go see a taping of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart today and it ROCKED OUR SOCKS!


Maggie Gylthereanwhateverthal was the guest and she was super cute and friendly. (P.S. that bitch is talllllllllll) We had front row center seats and it was a great experience, I am so happy that I had a chance to go. Also, one of Jon's camera men is a fuckin DILF...HOLY SHIT! I dunno what kinda camera guy he is...but he had this long pole looking apparatus with the camera perched high on top of it....in order to get all the panning shots of the set and whatnot and let me just tell you......

IF HE WORKS THAT POLE LIKE HE WORKS HIS OTHER POLE, MRS. CAMERA MAN IS A FUCKIN LUCKY WOMAN!!!

Needless to say I am jealz...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

This Shit Made Me LOL @ Work So Hard Today

So I was chompin on my fabulous lunch from Cosi this afternoon and I stumbled upon this hilarious article on the Huffington Post. It is basically satirizing this whole brouhaha over what Gen. Wesley Clark said this past Sunday about John McCain and his military service. I'll re-type it for those who are too lazy to click the actual link :)

---------------------------------

Let's review:

Bob Schieffer of Face The Nation made an important point: Unlike all-American war hero John McCain, Barack Obama has never "ridden in a fighter plane and gotten shot down."

In response, General Wesley Clark (traitor) said that riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down. . . doesn't actually qualify a person to be president.

And then everyone on TV exploded:



How DARE left-wing pacifist Wesley Clark suggest that riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down doesn't automatically qualify someone to be president?

Riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down automatically qualifies you to be anything.

(Except a good fighter pilot.)

Let's review:

Riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down: AUTOMATICALLY QUALIFIES YOU TO BE PRESIDENT.

Riding on a city bus and running off a bridge: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE VICE-PRESIDENT.

Riding on a rollercoaster and flying out of your seat but then landing on a waterslide and sliding down to into the water and almost drowning but then being rescued by an Elvis impersonator: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR.

Getting your foot run over by a fire truck: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE COMMISSIONER OF THE FDA.

Riding on a unicycle while eating a bran muffin: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE POET LAUREATE.

Falling off a really, really tall ladder and being captured by lawn gnomes and taken to their underground lair (behind the azaleas) and being tortured for five years by their evil, tiny ceramic hands: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE DEPUTY SECRETARY OF DEFENSE FOR LANDSCAPING.

Getting really, really drunk at Thanksgiving and crying, "Why was I never good enough for you, Dad?" and then literally eating a banjo, and then saying, "Am I man enough NOW, Dad? Now that I've eaten my banjo-- the one thing I loved, the one thing you could never understand?": QUALIFIES YOU TO BE CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE.

Riding on one of those old-timey bicycles with the gigantic front wheel and wearing a handlebar mustache and saying, "By Jove, isn't everything wonderful here in olden tymes, I wonder what amusement is to be had at the nickel-theatre": QUALIFIES YOU TO BE BOB SCHIEFFER.

Riding in a train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better watch your speed: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE UNDERSECRETARY OF STATE FOR INTERMINABLE GUITAR SOLOS.

Riding in a fighter jet and solving the Sunday Times crossword puzzle: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT.

Happy Fourth of July!!!

---------------------------------

David Rees wins at life, he totally had me chuckling at my desk. But on a serious note, how ridiculous is this story? I for the life of me cannot understand why this has become such a big fucking deal. I really do not see what Gen. Clark said that was inaccurate...or even offensive. He didn't denigrate Sen. McCain's service in away way shape or form...he in fact praised it. The only thing that he suggested is that getting shot down as a fighter pilot does not automatically make one qualified to be POTUS. Why is this so difficult?

And all this is coming from an individual who was wounded in Vietnam himself so if anyone is qualified to give his opinion on this matter it WOULD BE Gen. Clark...LOL!

I love how the media makes a huge deal over shit that is so trivial and unimportant. So ridiculous......

It's gonna be a long summer.....

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Time Waster.....

I ran across this tonight and I thought that I would share it with you guys......

According to this website, your boy K is quite the healthy guy. My BMI is 24.3, my WHtR is 42.9%, body fat is 7.2%, surface area is 1.94m squared, and my BMR is 1856 kcals/day.

I find it very interesting that the website says that Male College Swimmers' WHtR's are 42.8% because I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT have a swimmer's body....LOLOL!



All and all I am pretty happy with my body.....I could stand to lower my BMI a bit still because I still feel that I am really flabby but that might just be your typical case of gay man's body dsymorphia.

This was perhaps the worst website to look at this evening tho, seeing as though I just finished a huge Chinese dinner (sweet n' sour chicken) and my roomies baked chocolate chip cookies (3 of which are happily floating around in my stomach).

Now if you excuse me boys, I've got a "date" with one of my best friends......



Have a great week!!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I Keep It Classy....




And because of this fact Petey......I am NOT gonna rub this win in your face.

Because doing so would be classless and immature.....

However, I do hope you watched the match....

It was quite interesting no?

LOL!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Deets On The Boy....

Ok, so I've reached the point where I can comfortably get excited about the prospects of my new boy. I think it is pretty safe to say at this point that we are dating...although it isn't official. All and all, I am really happy how things have progressed so far and I'm excited to find out whats awaiting me around the corner :)

I suppose if you are reading this that means that you want some deets on him so I guess i'll spill....

First off let's call him "Ryan" (obvs. not his real name). Now Ryan is 22 and he just moved to NYC this summer. He is originally from North Carolina and you can totally tell because he has THE CUTEST Southern accent ever...ha! He is around my height (5'10 ish) and my build, although I think I might be *slightly* bigger than me. He's got a really nice body and I am seriously jealz over his calves because even after 11+ years of soccer, my legs STILL can't look like his. It is a damn shame I tell you......LOL!

He has dark brown hair, hazel eyes, really nice skin and the softest lips eva.....OMFG this guy's lips, you have no idea......



So yea, I guess you could say I am slightly smitten..ha!

Anywho, Ryan is a really, really great catch from what I've seen so far. In addition to being absolutely adorable, he is really smart and has a great sense of humor. I dunno about you guys, but being able to joke around with someone anndddd have them keep up and actually understand your humor is such a huge, huge turn-on. We joke around and make fun of each other constantly and it is really a great time. To be honest, I kinda feel like I've known him for longer than I have because we just have kinda fallen into this natural back and forth....

I dunno how to explain it...

All I know is that I am just really, really happy right now! It would be the understatement of the century for me to say that I am really looking forward to spending more time with him and getting to know him better.

And to think, I almost didn't go up and talk to him the night that we met (thanks for pushing me btw Jay..LOL!) because I thought that he was wayyyyy to cute for me. I mean, who wants to have to deal with the rejection..ya know?

Things have really turned out better than I could have ever hoped tho, and it just goes to show that sometimes it is worth it to take a chance. :)

More updates to come!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

In 2008......Really?!?!?!

I was at work today checking my mail and my pops sent me a link to this disgusting....but not all that surprising story.



I don't understand the ignorance of some people in this day and age....I really don't. Typical GOP bullshit....

If this is all they've got I am starting to feel really bad for them. God forbid if Obama wins, all the racists and small minded bigots are gonna have a collective heart attack.

I wonder where they'll move?

I know for a fact that Canada doesn't want those bitches...LOL!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I've Been Sitting On This......

I met a guy last week....he's great!

We had our first date last night...it was GREAT!

We've made plans to go out multiple times next week.....EVEN BETTER!

I think I may have found something special guys....

Stay Tuned!!!!!!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

WHAT!!!

I screamed audibly at my desk...



R.I.P. Tim

1950-2008

My Sunday mornings are never going to be the same again....