This Shit Made Me LOL @ Work So Hard Today

So I was chompin on my fabulous lunch from Cosi this afternoon and I stumbled upon this hilarious article on the Huffington Post. It is basically satirizing this whole brouhaha over what Gen. Wesley Clark said this past Sunday about John McCain and his military service. I'll re-type it for those who are too lazy to click the actual link :)

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Let's review:

Bob Schieffer of Face The Nation made an important point: Unlike all-American war hero John McCain, Barack Obama has never "ridden in a fighter plane and gotten shot down."

In response, General Wesley Clark (traitor) said that riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down. . . doesn't actually qualify a person to be president.

And then everyone on TV exploded:



How DARE left-wing pacifist Wesley Clark suggest that riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down doesn't automatically qualify someone to be president?

Riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down automatically qualifies you to be anything.

(Except a good fighter pilot.)

Let's review:

Riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down: AUTOMATICALLY QUALIFIES YOU TO BE PRESIDENT.

Riding on a city bus and running off a bridge: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE VICE-PRESIDENT.

Riding on a rollercoaster and flying out of your seat but then landing on a waterslide and sliding down to into the water and almost drowning but then being rescued by an Elvis impersonator: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR.

Getting your foot run over by a fire truck: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE COMMISSIONER OF THE FDA.

Riding on a unicycle while eating a bran muffin: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE POET LAUREATE.

Falling off a really, really tall ladder and being captured by lawn gnomes and taken to their underground lair (behind the azaleas) and being tortured for five years by their evil, tiny ceramic hands: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE DEPUTY SECRETARY OF DEFENSE FOR LANDSCAPING.

Getting really, really drunk at Thanksgiving and crying, "Why was I never good enough for you, Dad?" and then literally eating a banjo, and then saying, "Am I man enough NOW, Dad? Now that I've eaten my banjo-- the one thing I loved, the one thing you could never understand?": QUALIFIES YOU TO BE CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE.

Riding on one of those old-timey bicycles with the gigantic front wheel and wearing a handlebar mustache and saying, "By Jove, isn't everything wonderful here in olden tymes, I wonder what amusement is to be had at the nickel-theatre": QUALIFIES YOU TO BE BOB SCHIEFFER.

Riding in a train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better watch your speed: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE UNDERSECRETARY OF STATE FOR INTERMINABLE GUITAR SOLOS.

Riding in a fighter jet and solving the Sunday Times crossword puzzle: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT.

Happy Fourth of July!!!

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David Rees wins at life, he totally had me chuckling at my desk. But on a serious note, how ridiculous is this story? I for the life of me cannot understand why this has become such a big fucking deal. I really do not see what Gen. Clark said that was inaccurate...or even offensive. He didn't denigrate Sen. McCain's service in away way shape or form...he in fact praised it. The only thing that he suggested is that getting shot down as a fighter pilot does not automatically make one qualified to be POTUS. Why is this so difficult?

And all this is coming from an individual who was wounded in Vietnam himself so if anyone is qualified to give his opinion on this matter it WOULD BE Gen. Clark...LOL!

I love how the media makes a huge deal over shit that is so trivial and unimportant. So ridiculous......

It's gonna be a long summer.....