Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Looks Like I Was Tagged

So after all this time someone finally decided to tag lil ol' K. HAHA. Well, here it goes...hopefully some of these are actually a surprise to those of you who just read my blog...for those of you who I chat with on a regular basis, these might not come as a surprise.

The Rules:
List eight things about yourself. At the end of the post, tag and link to eight other people. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

1). Ok, I am totally gonna steal Ben's first fact and expand on it by saying that I AM SURE I HAVE AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH APPLE INC. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am totally obsessed, so much so that I have all sort of Mac rumor RSS feeds that I check RELIGIOUSLY throughout the day. I also own some stock in the company, so it is important that I stay on top of everything. (P.S. it looks like new iMacs might be announced Aug 7th...and I cannot wait)

Ok Ok..more random facts.

2). I am Canadian!
Seriously.......much like Justin and Matt I too am a native of the frozen north. I was born in Scarborough, Ontario (suburb of Toronto) but only spent the first 5 years of my life up there because my parents got tired of the cold. If you need to know exactly HOW TIRED of the cold they actually where, you needn't look any further than our current residence in South Florida!

3). Along the same lines, I totally plan to move back to Toronto after I am finished with my Masters in NYC. I have always loved it up there, and I still have quite a few family members who still live there so I think that it has potential to be a great situation for me.

Lets see.......

4). Ooooo, I absolutely love to travel. It is something that my parents and I do at least once a year. Back in the day, I made a pact with myself that I would visit every continent before I was 21. Well......now I am 22 and I only have 2 left ( Asia & Australia) so I am pretty happy about my progress to say the least! Actually, me and some buddy's (one of whom is the Whorehouse Boy) are trying to hit up Beijing for the for the Summer Olympics next year. Now, if only I can find a way to get into the men's gymnastics, swimming, diving events without seeming TOOO GAY. LOL!

5). Another random fact.......I am a Scorpio. If I am being honest, I am skeptical of astrology in general, seeing as tho it is written in such a way as to describe almost anyone. However, I still think its kinda fun to pass the time and whatnot. I also find it funny that most resources say that Scorpio's are the most sexual individuals of the entire zodiac.

6). It is funny b/c I'm still a proud (relatively) owner of my "V" card, so to speak. (This is if we are using the Clintonian definition of sex...........................this is def a subj for another post HAHA)

Lets see, more randomness.......

7). Between my mom side of my family and my dad's I have a total 21 Uncles and Aunts. Yes that's right, that is not a typo and I am not joking....my mom is one out of 12 and my dad is one out of 9! LOL. No wonder they decided to have only one child, can you really blame them? And no before anyone asks, we are not Mormon, my grandparents where just really, REALLY busy people!

8). Oh, and while we are on the subject of children.......I absolutely love them to pieces! Newborns, Infants, Toddlers, it really doesn't matter I love em all. I actually used to volunteer at a Preschool during High School and I was also a Camp Counselor for many, many summers. Those where actually some of my best memories during that time now that I think about it, haha. Honestly, if you were to ask me why I enjoy children so much I don't think that I could explain it...they are just fun little people!

Ok, so thats pretty much it. Im sure that I could give you many more interesting little tid-bits of information on me, but as it stands right now I really cant think of any. Plus I am only required to do 8, so I am not gonna strain myself! HAHA. Oh, and pretty much everyone else has been tagged already from what I can see, so it looks like the fun stops here.

Later guys.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


So, JR's last post, along with various ones from my Twin,
VJ, and, Travis, have got me to thinking.....

How come I haven't yet blogged about my object of desire?

Well, it's none other than................MATT DALLAS!

I remember the first time I saw him. I was just casually flipping through channels and I ran across Kyle XY.

Ok, so the series basically starts out with him waking up naked in a forest, with no recollection of his life up to that point. Sounds far fetched?


And he doesn't have a belly button.......... a bit ridiculous no?


Because when you look like this....


Seriously guys, could you say no to a face like this?


I didn't think so.

Seriously, I think he is just about perfect. Dark hair and nice amazing eyes will do it for me absolutely every time.

In addition, it seems as though he is a huge goof ball with super dorky personality, which in my estimation, makes him even MORE perfect! (if that is even possible...haha)

Monday, July 23, 2007

If Its On Facebook....It's Official

First off let me say that I had effectively pried myself from the death grip of Facebook for about 2 years, until about 2 weeks ago, when I got sucked back into it's evil vortex........

I remember when it first came out Spring semester of my freshman year at UF. It was so new and exciting.....I spent HOURS on that bitch. H-O-U-R-S! It was (and still is) a internet-based version of crack in my opinion and I'm pretty sure that my grades that semester suffered for it. However, it's water under the bridge now.

In all honesty, I can see the merits of Facebook...and Myspace (which is even MORE evil IMHO). I mean, I suppose it keeps you connected to people that you don't normally associate with everyday, and its also a way to catch up with people from your past. But, there is a dark side.......................


I confess, I'm totally guilty of this................


< points at you >

HAHA.......Anyways, late Sunday night (or more accurately, early Monday morning) I was Facebook stalking with some of the bloggers (will NOT name names...but you guys know who you are!) and I ran across an interesting profile.....

The guy in said profile looked really familiar, but I just couldn't seem to place him. It wasn't until I opened up his profile that I recognized that he was someone who I went to Middle School and High School with, even though he was one year before me. Well let me tell you, this guy had lost at least 50 to 60 lbs. and he looked AMAZING! No wonder I didn't immediately recognize him, he looked like a completely different person.

Anywho, that wasn't even the biggest shocker.....that one came when, upon closer inspection, I realized that he put in his profile that he was interested in men.

WHAT?!?!!? You mean your gay?

Sure enough, when i looked at his relationship stats...it said that he was single and looking for a relationship...with a guy.

And get this....... he moved to NYC for his job.

So, I am undecided on whether this is a good thing or not. My cynical side is telling me that this has the potential to turn into a very, very bad situation. For instance, what if he sees me in some gay venue in the city, recognizes me...and then goes and says to a mutual friend, "guess who i saw at such and such a place last night." One person talks to another and then poof...I'm outed. Of course this might be me just being really really paranoid, but what person in the closet isn't? Of course there is a chance I will never run into him, I mean NYC is a big city, but we have many of the same mutual friends....so i dunno.

More things to think about I suppose. I mean, I really didn't expect to go to the city and be totally anonymous but I didn't really plan for a development like this. Time will tell.

Anyways.....moral of the story: Facebook is a useful tool for finding out things that you've never known about a person.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

So I Guess I Can Stop Bitching Now.....

It looks like I will not be living in Central Park anymore once I move to NYC. And thank God.......because as Justin so eloquently stated the other night, "you know....the park gets pretty drafty in the winter." HAHAHA!

Anyways, my Dad got me a pretty nice place in Brooklyn Heights. Apparently it is only one subway stop away from Lower Manhattan which is a HUGE plus. Also, it's furnished, so now I don't have to worry about lugging all my furniture across like 6 or 7 states next month.

All and all I am pretty happy. And its only a 9 month lease, so it will give me enough time to get situated in the city....and scope out a more permanent place to live.

Looks like, at least in some aspects of my life....things are finally starting to come together.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Ok, warning this is a random post......

I'm pretty sure that I saw THE HOTTEST guy this morning at Jamba Juice.

You know, you've got your cute guys and your hot guys....and then you have some that are just so amazingly beautiful that they defy conventional labels. I DEFINITELY saw THAT guy this morning.

So, I am walking into Jamba to get my standard Tuesday Razzmatzz and I see his back at the cash register. In my head I am thinking.........ok

- Tall, about 6'1.......check.
- Hmmmm...broad shoulders.....check, check
-Damn...look at that ass in those khaki's.....ok buddy, you have my full and undivided attention

And then he turned around.......

It is really a shame that I don't have some way to watch a slow motion replay of my face, because I am pretty sure it was hilarious. This guy was absolute perfection. I would say about late 20's early 30's, amazing body, olive complexion (he must have been Latin or Mediterranean or something) with the BLUEST eyes I have ever seen on another human being.....EVER!

Honestly, my words are really selling this guy extremely short. I scoured online to find what I thought was some sort of accurate representation of this guy's appearance.....and I think I found it. Anyone who has been reading magazines over the past couple of months has no doubt ran across this Dolce & Gabbana ad for their new cologne, light blue........

Now, imagine him, but with shorter, lighter hair...and you've got a 99.8% real life, accurate description of who now will be referred to as "Jamba Hottie".

Now, I'm pretty sure I was full-on staring for a good 1 or 2 seconds until the girl at the register signaled for me to make my order. In my lustful and disoriented haze......I clumsily charged the counter and unfortunately knocked over some Clif Bars that were stacked next to the tip jar.

Go ahead...............laugh...........I can take it.

Luckily, in addition to being achingly beautiful, Jamba Hottie is also a courteous, stand up guy. He turned around when heard the bars fall and bent down to help me pick some of them up. Somehow I managed to summon my voice during the whole fiasco to thank him, and he smiled back and said...."no problem man, everyone is allowed to be a klutz in the morning."

LOL! Looking back on it, he was totally making fun of me, but at the time I didn't give a shit.....as far I was concerned, he was obviously flirting with me! HAHA!!

Suffice to say, it was a good start to a long and otherwise uneventful day.

Monday, July 16, 2007

You Must Be Joking!

I never really thought that seemingly intelligent people could be so incredibly fucking stupid.

Today I was at work and I happened to overhear a conversation going on between 3 middle-aged men who work in my department. One of them was discussing how worried he is about "the road" that his little, 5 year old son is going down. Just wait until you hear the reason behind his trouble.........

Apparently his son is adamant about only drawing and coloring with pink and purple crayons. All of the artwork he produces in school and all the doodling he does at home are in "fruity colors". He is worried that maybe this is a sign that his son harbors homosexual tendencies or is in the beginning stages of "turning gay". ( his own words!)

You know because clearly.......

He is freaking out because when he talked to his wife about the situation she just blew him off and told him he was acting ridiculous. (thank god someone has some fucking sense in that house!) As a result of his wifes' inaction he decided to take it upon himself to have a heart to heart chat with his son and explain to him that those colors are for girls and boys should not like them. Clearly this didn't stop "Billy's" (he never mentioned his son's name) subsequent usage of the apparent international fag colors. (me being facetious)

So now, in order to stop his 5 year old son's seemingly rapid descent into sodomy, he took it upon himself to take away all the child's pink and purple crayons........

I am not joking, I couldn't make this up if I tried.....i'm hardly that creative.

Needless to say that little Billy was not happy, and I suppose he threw a huge, nelly fit and his mother bought him more pink and purple crayons.

Now while this story is extremely hilarious, and I admit that I was snickering in my cubicle........when you get right down to it, it is actually quite sad. How can it be that there are still people in 2007 that are so incredibly ignorant and ill informed? It's even worse when you take into account that these are "supposedly" highly educated men with advanced degrees and the like.

Add that to the fact that not one of the men listening to this guy's crazy ass story called him on his ridiculousness. In fact, one of them even relayed a story about how his now 13 year old son used to play house and have tea parties with his older sister before he came in to put a stop to it. Because he didn't want his son to turn into a "flamer". Yes sir, having your son play these types of role-playing games when they are little is really going to make him crave the cock when he grows up.

I thought I was in a parallel universe, I could not believe the bullshit.

Friday, July 13, 2007


Apartment Hunting sucks major balls, that's all I have to say.

(officially the shortest blog post of life)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Why You Shouldn’t Travel w/ Your Straight Friends (part II)

So after that fiasco I was understanbly upset, although I can kind of laugh at it now, at the time it was far from being funny. I eventually decided that it was time for us to get out of there, but not before 2 more women came over to proposition me, one of whom I swear was about 5 months pregnant. DO NOT WANT!!!!

Of course my friend was having the time of his life................

Silly boy, don’t you realize they are prositutes?

Anyways my attempts at trying to make a run for it were thwarted when he decided that he wanted to hit up the Casino for a couple of rounds of blackjack. Being the pushover that I am, I agreed and we ended up staying for another 45mins or so....the longest of my life BY FAR. When we finally got outside, the shit finally hit tthe fan........

Me: What the fuck where you thinking?
My Friend: What?
Me: Are you serious? Didn't you know it was a WHOREHOUSE?
My Friend: < laughs > Dude, its not just that, its a Bar AND a Casino too!
Me: < glares >
My Friend: Ok ok ok...yea I knew that they were prositutes there as well but I figured it was something that you need to experience......
My Friend: Dude, they are just doing their job....chill the fuck out.
Me: You must be kiddin me right now! You cannot be for real.
My Friend: Dude, we are on vacation...in fucking Costa Rica..we are young and we only live once..I figured it would be fun. You had to experience it.
Me: Why do you keep on saying that? I don’t need to experience prositutes. Who goes to Costa Rica to pick up whores?
My Friend: Bro, I don’t know why you are flipping out. I was trying to do something nice. You’ve seemed so stressed and on edge lately, I figured you could use the stress relief or sumthin....i dunno.

Let me take this moment to note that my friend is honestly one of the coolest, chill and selfless guys that I know. We meet up through some mutual friends Sophmore year at UF and even though we really have nothing in common, we’ve become really close and I can safely say that he is one of my best friends. I can see that he was just trying to do something nice for me which is obviously appriecated, I mean he is operating under the assumption that I am straight....and I suppose straight friends get their friends prositutes to be nice..........

Ok, that was unnecessarly snarky, ill take it back. But I am sure some of you can understand my frustration in my predicament. I mean, here he is, trying to do something nice for me by trying to get me a prostitute (I STILL cannot believe he did that..even as I type it over and over) And he is doing it because he sees that I have been stressed, which can pretty much be attributed to the fact that I'm dealing with coming out. I dunno, probably I should have used the opportunity to come out to him right then and there, but honestly I was just not in the best frame of mind, and I was so disoriented I couldn't think straight (pun intended).

Me: Ok...so maybe I am stressed...but its because I am dealing with a lot of stuff right now. A prostitute isn't gonna help with it.
My Friend: Its whatever, you should have seen your face tho when you realized it was a whorehouse...it was classic.
Me: I'm glad you think it was funny.
My Friend: It totally made my trip actually.
Me: Just as long as you know what you did was sneaky, underhanded...and wrong on so many levels.
My Friend: fine I will give you that...but it was totally worth it < hysterically laughs >
Me: < glares INTENSELY >

Other than that, my trip was incredibly fun and relaxing. I got a chance to zip line in the rainforest, which was hardcore craziness. I pretty much thought I was gonna shit my pants on many occasions, but was totally worth it. We also got a chance to check out the beaches, some waterfalls and of course the Costa Rican nightlife, which was amazing. In addition to all that, we got a chance to stay in some crazy hostels. They were pretty dirty, and the amenities were pretty much non- existent, but who can argue with $10 a night? Plus, its a great way to scope out hot guys from all around the world, sometimes even in various states of undress. HAHA! Anyways, all and all I think that it was definitely one of the best trips I've been on in a while.
And I would recommend it for anyone who has the time.

On another note, I am in the Lincoln Tunnel right now on my way to Manhattan and my pops needs directions, so I'm gonna have to cut this post a bit short. Talk to you later!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Why You Shouldn’t Travel w/ Your Straight Friends (part I)

Well, put very simply.....you shouldn’t because it will inevitably put your ass in some UNCOMFORTABLE and AWKWARD positions.

Case in point......

Last Friday night was supposed to be just a fun night out in a foreign country with some friends. Little did I know they were conspiring against me! I woke up about 5PM in our hostel.....

Me: So where are we heading?
My Friend: Dude, we are gonna check out this place that my buddy told me about. Apparently it is like the hottest spot in San
Jose. (This description will become infinitely more evident in a moment)
Me: Oh cool, so its like a club or bar or what?
My Friend: Well, its a little of both....and there is a Casino too.....YOUR GONNA LOVE IT THERE.....TRUST ME!
Me: Alight then, you are the tour guide, I will just follow your lead

Big mistake on my part......once we got into the place, I knew something was fishy. LITERALLY!!!

Me: Bro, why do I feel like everyone is staring at us?
My Friend: I dunno....yo don’t worry about it...lets go to the bar.
Me: Alight, I kinda want a Rum and Coke

*** 5 Minutes later, at the bar with drinks in hand***

My Friend: Yo K...there are so many chicks in here bro...and they are all so fucking hot!
Me: Yea I was about to say...there are really alot of girls in here.....and maybe I am being paranoid...but I feel like they are all
staring at me.
My Friend: Yea, they are totally checking us out, they must really like Americans or something.
Me: Who knows < sips drink >

*** Another 5 minutes later....a mysterious tap on my shoulder***

Random Chick: Hooolllllllaaaaa chico
Me: Hola < insert nervous laugh > What's going on?
Random Chick: You speaka the Spanish? < scratches/ rubs my back >
Me: No...no habla espanol. (OMG why is she touching me?!?!)
Random Chick: Ayyyyyeeee. My name es Julia.
Me: Hey, nice to meet you. (Now please get your hand off my back.....wait.......is your hand moving to my belt?!?!)
Julia: So chico...where is chu from?
Me: I am from Florida (Jesus...is she trying to push her hand into the back of my pants?!?!) < fidgets nervously >
Julia: Oooo flo-RIDA...very pretty....pretty people too
Me: Yea, there are a lot of hot people over there.
Julia: So first time in Costa Rica?
Me: No not exactly
Julia: So how chu like it?
Me: Its great....beautiful country
Julia: Si Si < bats eyelashes and continues furiously rubbing my back and shoulders >
Me: Haha...yeaaaa sooooo

I should take a moment to note that by this time I realize that my friend had brought me to a WHOREHOUSE!!!! Um, I should also point out that when I looked over to my right, he was chatting up 2 “chicks” (I use the term loosely b/c one of them defiantly looked like a post-op transexual.....but that not really THAT relevant at this time, because I had this chick basically raping me at the bar, and I really didn't know how to stop her....

Julia: So chico...what chu doing tonight? (starts sweating profusly...hopefully she doent take this as a sign that I’m excited or
Me: Ahhhhh.....I think we are going to leave soon
My Friend: Oh na bro...we can stay for a while...I’m cool. (shit fucking shit)
Julia: Sooo would you like chica company tonight?
Me: Pardon?
Julia: Chica cooommmppppaaannnnyyy....for chu tonights?
Me: Oh...ahh no thanks
Julia: Chu sure...I’m very good < drops breasts on my shoulder....which looked like cantalopes I might add >
Me: No no no...I’m sure...but thanks anyways. ( insert nervous grin...hoping that she will take the hint )
Julia: Ohhhhh chico...I can tells chu’s very very tense ( you don't know the half of it lady ) Chu have a chica in flo-RIDA?
Me: Ya? YES ya ya.....I have a girlfriend at home. (thank god the chick gave me an out)
Julia: O, know worries chico...what happens in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica...your chica will not know....chu know?
Me: Na ...I cant do that to her...im sorry. (please lady...just go away...PLEASE)
Julia: Ok then...have a good trip OK...and come look for me when chu want.
Me: Alight I will...thanks (please GOD don't let her give me like a business card or something....I just wouldn't be able to hold
it together)
Julia: < Removes her hands from my back...& her breasts from my shoulder...walks away >

to be continued..............

I'm Bizzzack!

Hey Guys!

Hopefully everyone had a fun and safe Fourth of July last week. I just got back into the country early this morning and I am currently being chauffeured (at least in my mind.......haha) on I-95 en route to NYC. My parents for whatever reason thought it would be fun to do a roadtrip instead of just flying. They are so adorable, my Mom even packed sandwiches LOL! Could she be any cuter?

Anyways, I'll blog about all the shenanigans that occurred on my trip when I am in a more comfortable position (and after some much needed sleep!!!)

Happy Monday! (If thats even possible)