Sunday, December 30, 2007

If There Was Any Question Before...........

Your Score: Gay


You scored -40 (-52 being completely gay, 0 being bisexual, and 52 being completely straight)




As of right now, you are interested in the same sex. You have very little to no sexual interest in the opposite sex. If you are sexually inexperienced at this point, it is possible that you have latent heterosexual tendencies that you have not yet discovered.




Link: The Sexuality Spectrum Test written by tall_man_54 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(tall_man_54)


Thanks VJ for the link. Im actually laughing really hard at this....who knew I was *THAT* gay.

99% Precentile Folks.......ouch

Friday, December 28, 2007

UGH

I trust everyone is having a great holiday season with their families and all that there.

I am having a very "mixed" time with some good and a bunch of bad shit that I just don't want to deal with.

Whatevers.......I am just gonna give you a quick rundown of some stuff that has transpired since I've been home...

#1: I was kicked out of my parent's pool house (my old room). Apparently (according to the mother) since I do not "live at their house anymore" I have no rights to my old room that I've occupied since 1999. Bullshit.

#2: The extreme temperature change from NYC to this horrible, stifling heat has gotten me completely sick...and I am just starting to get over it.

#3: I overheard my father and my cousin talking about hair whorls and finger lengths yesterday morning at the breakfast table. Apparently my dad feels that this this a sure fire way to "find out who is gay". They apparently tested their theory today at the mall. I hid out at my Grandmother's house all day with my hands in my pockets (my hands are totally gay by the way...but I have no hair whorl since my hair is so short).

#4: I got a bunch of random shit for Christmas...but some useful things as well like hats and beanies and scarves. So that is good.....

#5: My prom date from HS txt'ed me this evening and told me to go meet her at the bar where she was drinking and hang out....since she heard thru the grapevine that I was home. I never responded...crazy chick, we haven't talked since 02...go have a seat!

When I didn't respond to the first txt...she went on to say that she misses me...and she really wants to see me......

Nevermind that I have to deal with seeing her mug everytime I walk into my parents house BECAUSE THEY STILL....AFTER FIVE YEARS have our pictures plastered up everywhere. Honestly...this would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic. It is unfortunate but this chick was basically the closest thing that I ever had to a girlfriend and I guess my parents like to have that image around.

I dunno....it bothers me....even more so because there is a huge portrait of it in what used to be my room. Paging Mr. and Mrs. Passive-Aggressive....your table is ready!

#6: I had a celebrity sighting today in front of Saks 5th Avenue. I just finished returning a hat while talking to Kelly on the phone when I passed by this tall, latin hottie that made me do a double take. I pulled my glasses down my nose (clearly I have no shame) to get a better look....and it was none other than Daniel Sunjata from Rescue Me on FX!


Anyways he was looking at me as I passed. JR and Ben seem to think that this meant that he was "checking me out" however I am realistic so I'm sticking with the "who the fuck is that ugly black kid and why is he staring at me" explanation. This is far more plausible....let me tell you.

Anyways, he was in a tight black shirt and khakis and he was looking GOOD! Guys...he is wayyyy taller in person that I would have pegged him for. And this is gonna sound really nasty.....so forgive me in advance.....but he was kinda sweaty.....like on his face.....and I had this over-arching and incredibly strong urge to lick him.

Clearly this makes me a freak so i'll shut up now (but this blog IS called I Have To Admit It....so I might as well.....)

Anywho...that is my week so far. Mostly blah. I cannot wait to get back to NYC...which is kinda horrible but also the truth. LOL! I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their vacations (if you are on one that is....haha).

Oh BTW...everyone should go and check out this new blog that I just added to my links if you haven't already. It is really well written and obviously we can all relate to his situation with the whole coming out process and all the stressors that it entails. He shot me an email a while back and he seems like a really sweet guy...so shout out man!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Great News/My 100th Post!!!!!!!!

So great things to discuss.....

#1: IT'S MY 100th POST Y'ALLL! (in a Britney Spears voice)

I cannot believe I made it so far....both in the blogging world and in the real world. I've gone out, met guys, had sex, came out to a couple of people...and I am generally feeling so much better about myself. I have defintely made some major progress in the last couple of months. My god, who knew that I would be in this place right now? It is so crazy!

Thanks to everyone out there for their support and comments! And shout out to all the amazing people I have met through this blog....I can't really imagine my life now without you guys in it....and I mean that, no matter how sappy it sounds. LOL!

:::HUG:::

#2: I GOT MY GRADES Y'ALL! (again....in a Britney Spears voice)

2 A's and a B........

I should be happy no? But I am pissed.

Why?

BECAUSE I GOT A B IN MY EASIEST CLASS THIS SEMESTER!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? HE GAVE ME A B ON MY PAPER....THE FUCKING TROLL! HE TOTALLY FUCKED MY GPA.....NOW ILL NEVER HAVE A 4.0, NO MATTER HOW MANY A'S I GET FROM HERE ON IN.....UUUGGGHHHHHH!!! I SWEAR TO GOD IF I EVER CATCH YOU ON THE STREET YOU CROSS-EYED, DECREPIT OLD MAN.......

{breathe}

Ok, I fixed my caps lock key....we are all good. So yea, I guess I didn't do that badly...but it could have been better. Whatever.

#3: I'M GOIN HOME TOMORROW Y'ALL! (is this getting old?)

I'm so excited to see my other Grammy (the only grandparent I have left). She is such a cutie....love her to pieces! Also, some of my cousins are coming in from Mississauga (shout out to all my Canadians!) to spend the holidays in sunny South Florida. What's even better is that they are all 21+ so that means.....SOUTH BEACH BITCHES...ALL WEEK LONNGGGG!!!!!

Come look for me at Mansion and Prive' bitches!!!

You know you're jealous....it is 81 degress down there now. LOL!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Next Time, Try Harder Girl....



Im sorry, but Debbie Harry, Pat Benatar, Cyndi Lauper and Gwen Stefani all need to come through and sue this chick for stealing their sound/style. And Ashlee.....thanks for being really, really slick with all the subtle (sarcasm) Salvador Dali references in this video.....you are so original....who can you rip off next?

With all that being said......is it bad that I think the chorus is really catchy?

I think this *may* have to go on my gym mix...I'm horrible.

LOL

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Best $16 I've Ever Spent In My Entire Life

So I just got in from spending the entire day with German Boy on Long Island.....

Sooooo in order to tow the line between quenching your thirst for information and making sure this blog doesn't turn into The Great Cock Hunt, (LOL..not that there is anything wrong with that site) I am gonna keep it classy and forgo all the intimate details.

We had fun.....even tho ultimately he didn't get EVERYTHING that he wanted.

He will just have to wait until I am ready to give him that....the lil' nympho!

So some details/random facts eh? (for Bruce...or else he will kill me)
--------------------------------------------------

-He is totally hotter than I remembered him.

-He's hilarious, in a dry and sarcastic way.

-He has gorgeous eyes.......my god I could stare at them for days

-Helga (his fag hag) is AMAZING....and she loves me (score)

-He has a tight, lil body....hhhmmmpfffhh

-CAN SUCK DICK LIKE NOOOOOBODY'S BUSINESS...lord ham mercy, I thought I would pass out!

-Did I mention a tight, lil' body?

-Dudes, he was literally BEGGING me to fuck him....I refused, he pouted, I *almost* capitulated but I held out because I don't really know him enough to go down that road yet. And also, if I did what he said.....even tho I wasn't ready for it yet, then he would have absolutely all the power in the relationship...and K isn't gonna let that happen...mmmmkay!!!!

{and let the congregation say AMEN!}

-He leaves me cute voicemail's that make me smile :)

-He is kinda sorta adorable....lol!

-His Visa expires in July 08.....should I really get involved with this guy?

-His dad is a police officer. His mom is a homemaker.

-He is the 3rd of 4.

-He is an Aquarius (LOL...u know I checked and apparently this is a horrible match...oh wells, trying anyways)

-He lives with a host family in the basement of a huge house.

-He has cute ears...I've nibbled on them.

-He drives the family minivan....this is hilarious to me.

-He hates the cold (He originally wanted to move to California but he couldn't find a host family)

-He doesn't understand the concept of the closet and why I just don't come out (might be a problem down the road)

-He has a really bubbly personality....it is a nice balance to my even keeled demeanor (at least I think)

-He doesn't like Michael Jackson or Prince. Seriously....wtf? Is this even allowed? It's like that time (multiple times actually) that JR has told me that he doesn't like dogs. Now, you are asking yourself....what the fuck does that have to do with anything? Well, a lot actually....because it is just one of those things that raises red flags....it's just not allowed IMHO! How can you not like Michael Jackson or Prince? What type of person says that? LOL! And lets be clear...I made sure I asked him about their MUSIC and not their PERSONALITIES and he said he hated their music. Who have you ever heard say that they hated Billie Jean, Beat It, Kiss, When Doves Cry, P.Y.T., Purple Rain...I can go on and on....

I told him this was unacceptable.....

-He likes food...he will apparently eat anything.

-He has a cute butt....

-He loves Family Guy

-When he says "the" it sounds like "zeee" and it makes me giggle.

-He is a better kisser than Polish Guy...and I thought that was impossible.

Ok, I could go on all night.....but suffice to say I kinda sorta like him....and I love spending time with him. We are gonna see where this goes. cross your fingers people...K might be embarking on his first real relationship...you never, never know.

As an aside....Polish Guy sent me a text today apologizing for not being able to set anything up last week. Apparently he is going home for the holidays and he wants to meet up with me next year. I told him to give me a call when he gets back into town. This is kosher right? I dunno what is gonna happen with him....he confuses me and he has been sending me mixed signals since that fateful night. For a 27 year old he sure isn't acting right. Time will tell.

Im focusing on my German right now.......

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Random Observation

So I went out to PR Boy's birthday dinner party yesterday....it was interesting to say the least.

Apparently he has a TON of gay friends that I had no idea about.

I have no idea where these guys came from as I have never seen them before in my entire life. Keep in mind that I've known PR Boy for close to 8 years and we basically have the same circle of friends, give or take a couple of random bitches here and there.

Where did all these gay "friends" come from PR Boy?

How/where and under what circumstances did you meet them?

Things to think about...............

Also interesting was the fact that in a party of over 20...I was curiously placed around ALL gay men. To my left, to my right, in front of me.........coincidence?

I think not

Come on PR Boy, next time be a little more slick and don't insult my intelligence. And don't think that we aren't gonna chat later about how you met all you little "friends".

{rolls eyes}

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Now I Am All FLUSTERED!!!!

O-M-G

This Lil' German.....

Let me just say, I still don't believe this is happening to me in real life. Never in my life did I think that I would have a guy pursuing me. And not just a regular, run of the mill kinda guy either....a HOT, WILD one.

How wild you ask?

I just got off the phone with him not more than 40 minutes ago and I am sitting here in front of my term paper totally flustered.

I can't concentrate.....

He just all but ORDERED me to come over to his house and fuck him!

Gentlemen...I shit you not!

Here is the convo, VIVIDLY EMBLAZONED IN MY MIND....

Me: Hey buddy hows it going?
German Boy: Fine, fine...what are you doing?
Me: Still working on my paper...
German Boy: BOOOOO, I'm coming back from the bar with some friends {hear laughter and commotion in the background}
Me: Oh cool
German Boy: So when am I gonna see you?
Me: Ummm well like I said...I've got a lot of work to do but after this weekend I am done with school
German Boy: So will I see you on Saturday?
Me: Well yea....I said I would make time for you on Saturday (we talked earlier today on the phone)
German Boy: What if I wanna see you now?
Me: Hahaha...well you can't because I am working
German Boy: I really want to see you
Me: I want to see you too buddy, I wish we could have hung out some more Friday night.....you still owe me that dance
German Boy: hhhmmmhmm, yes I do!
Me: You do
German Boy: So is that all we are gonna do when I see you again? {rising intonation}

Now at this point... you just know that your boy K is sitting up REAL STRAIGHT in his chair....because I just know what is about to come up next....

Me: What do you mean? <---me being coy LOL!
German Boy: Hahaha.....I don't think you are ready for me buddy...
Me: EXCUSE ME?
German Boy: LOL....I'm kinda drunk right now
Me: I can kinda tell....HAHA!
German Boy: {lowers voice} I want you to fuck me
Me: ................................
German Boy: Did you hear me? I am horny, and I want you to come over and fuck me now {still whispering}
Me: {gulp} Ummmm, haha......you serious?
German Boy: I am horny now....come to my place, ill be home in five minutes.
Me: Ummm Bro, you realize that you are like 50 miles away right?
German Boy: HAHAHA! I'm worth it.



Me: You want me to go all the way to Long Island? You must be crazy....I told you I am working
German Boy: {pouts}
Me: Don't be like that
German Boy: When am I gonna see you again?
Me: I already said that I would see you on Saturday...isn't that ok?
German Boy: Arrrrrgghh
Me: What?
German Boy: What am I supposed to do until then? Masturbate?!?!?!
Me: {drops phone} Ummm, come again please?
German Boy: Am I supposed to just jack off or something til you're ready? {giggles}
Me: You cannot be serious with me right now {laughs}
German Boy: I AM.....I'M HORNY...come over and fuck me...
Me: I can't now but we will meet up on the weekend....or maybe even next week. By then I will be totally finished with classes and you can have me all to yourself.
German Boy: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure...shoot
German Boy: Are you active or passive?



German Boy: KKKKK?!?! Answer!
Me: Uhhh....I don't really know...I suppose it is whatever....but with you let's say I am gonna be very active
German Boy: HAHA...good....thought so
Me: What's that 'pose to mean?
German Boy: Oh man......I'm gonna wear you out...you better be ready
Me: My goodness child....what's wrong with you?
German Boy: I hope you can keep up...cuz I'm gonna make you fuck me deep....



German Boy: You ready for it?
Me: I thought so previously.....but now I am scared LOLOL!
German Boy: HAHA....I love your voice.
Me: Uh....thanks
German Boy: {whispers} I want to hear it in my ear when you fuck me.
Me: Oh wow!
German Boy: Yea....get used to saying that....you will be saying that alot
Me: ......................
German Boy: I'm telling you.....you're not ready for me.....start preparing from now!
Me: Apparently I am not....gonna have to hit up some stretching or yoga or something
German Boy: Hehehe {hears cracking up in the background}
Me: Who is that?
German Boy: It is my friend Helga (not her real name, but they are all German so I feel that this is appropriate...LOL)
Me: Oh
German Boy: Here.....talk to her {gives her the phone}
Me: Hey.....what's up?
Helga: ___________ is drunk, forgive him.
Me: LOL...no it is all good....I think he is hilarious
Helga: He is....and he is really cute.
Me: I know this too!
Helga: LOL....so yea.....don't take anything he is saying right now to heart
Me: Oh no...don't worry....I am not.
Helga: Alright...good....I'm giving him the phone
Me: Nice talkin to y...... {gets cut off}
German Boy: That is my friend, she takes care of me
Me: Apparently she is doing smashing good job of it tonight
German Boy: Yes she is! (the sarcasm was lost on him....poor lil guy)
Me: Ok....so I will definitely see you this weekend or next week...mmkay?
German Boy: Ya...I've gotta go now too.....we better or else!
Me: What did we talk about earlier today?
German Boy: {sighs and recites what I said} "If you say you are gonna do something, then you will do it"
Me: Good
German Boy: So we will fuck then yes?
Me: HAHAHA, you are incredible!
German Boy: You'll see, you'll see......don't touch yourself this weekend
Me: Come again?
German Boy: Save up all your juices for me!
Me: ..................................
German Boy: {guffaws} I'll call you tomorrow...bye!
Me: {shakes head} Cya....

So, maybe I am NOT ready for him, I'm kinda scared. LMAO!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hilarious

I implore you all to go and read this post on Dan Renzi's blog if you haven't done so already.

I swear to you I just totally messed up my iMac...spitting orange juice all over the screen and everywhere else.

I can assure everyone out there in the blogosphere that all Jamaican men (speaking as one myself) are not as trifling as this kat right here. He is on a whole 'nother level of ridiculousness that I cannot even fathom...

You did the right thing Dan!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Amazing Night

Alright, its time to spill the beans. Fair warning guys......this post is gonna be quite long so grab a drink, pull up a seat and let K tell you about the craziest night of his life! (Yes I realize I was just talking in 3rd person but please indulge me....mmmkay?)

So first things first....I met Chris at Penn Station and we both tracked on over to Barracuda to meet the guys. We walked into the bar and it was relatively empty. I called up Justin to try to see where he was as we were making our rounds around the place but apparently he hadn't made it in yet. As I passed the bar I thought I saw Billy in his Red Sox cap taking a swig of his beer. It was dark tho, and we had walked by him really fast so I didn't want to make an ass out of myself by walking up to some random guy w/out knowing for certain it was him. So I grabbed Chris and told him that I thought I saw Billy at the bar by himself but I wanted to get a closer look. Upon a second inspection I was positive it was him so I went on over to introduce myself....

The expression on his face was priceless....LOL....but I am positive it had to do with the fact that my opening line was something to the effect of "Hey, do you know me?" Of course he said no because he has never seen me before...but it was kinda funny to watch the wheels turning for about 3 seconds as he tried to figure out who this crazy kid who just introduced himself was.

Sorry for making you squirm buddy....forgive me LOL!

Anyways after formal intros we ordered some drinks and started chatting. This my friends, is when the first of MANY ridiculous things started happening to me. I was lazily scoping the room.....admiring all the eye candy until someone caught my eye.....literally!

Just take a guess on who it was......with my luck, just guess...............

Would you believe that it was my old boss?!?!?!?!?

Yes sirs, that one....the one I had a crush on....the one I wasn't sure whether or not was gay until I found his Connexion account....the one that "let me go". Yea.....that one.....LOL!

So our eyes met and I quickly turned away because I really didn't have anything to say to him and for whatever reason the whole thing was just super uncomfortable for me. Like, I already knew he was gay....and I am pretty sure he already knew about me through the course of my employment there but it was nothing that was formally confirmed....ya know? Plus, as much as I wanna say that I didn't care that he let me go.....under whatever circumstances....I am still not over it. I mean I've never been fired from a job and it was just a major blow to my ego...and I am still kinda upset at him. HAHA!

Whatever....

Anyways, Chris and Billy were like why don't you go over there and talk to him. It was clear that he recognized me because after I turned away really quick and then looked back....he was full on staring at me with that SAME ALL KNOWING SMIRK that he'd given me previously in the office. Ugh! And why did he have to look so cute in his striped rugby shirt? Ugh...I really hate you. LOL! (As the chorus from Kelis' Caught Out There is playing on a constant loop in my mind..HAHAHA)

Anyways, out of sight, out of mind. Next!

Eventually JP showed up with his ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS friend Ryan. Ohhhh man...otherworldly hotness fellas......let me tell you! I am not gonna lie....I was totally jealous of JP...hahaha! I found out later that he is really just a friend...and he is apparently partnered. Partnered as in....he left us to go home to his husband at midnight. Good for him....and what a lucky guy that hubby is! (You shoulda totally got to him first JP!)

Anywho, the bar started really picking up and the hotties were out in full force. Chris and I kept on saying that it was so hard to focus because as soon as you saw one another hotter one came into your periphery. We were totally fighting a losing battle. It was about this time that I noticed this REALLY cute guy (the 1st of the 2 for this evening) at the bar next to our group. I asked Chris for his opinion and he co-signed on his hotness. LOL! I found out from listing (read: spying into) his conversation with the bartender and another guy that he is originally from Germany and he is here in the states studying Law.

Let me try to paint a mental picture of this guy for those of you out there. He was no more than 5'7 and about 140 pounds, dirty blonde hair and light eyes (im not totally sure whether they were green or hazel, it was dark and by that time I was kinda tipsy). So, I know what some of you are saying out there in the blogosphere who talk to me on a regular basis...."but K, I thought you said that you don't like twinky guys?!?!" But that is just the thing....he was small but he was really built...he really wasn't twinkish at all. He had really big shoulders and pecs for a guy his size...and it is obvious that he knows this as well because he was totally wearing an AnF button down shirt (prob from Abercrombie Kids LMAO) about a size too small with the top three buttons undone.

You lil' brazen slut you! HAHA!

By this time Chris was like, "K, why don't you go and talk to him!" I am like there is nooooo wayyy I am going to do so he is tooo cute and I am not that drunk yet to make a fool out of myself! LOL! He insisted that he was looking at me....I didn't believe it at all....he was totally making shit up so I'd go over and speak to him. I know your game Chris! LOLOL!

By this time, my man Justin finally arrived and the circle was complete..haha! It was really nice to have everyone together in one place...having a good time. It is weird because I have never seen any of these guys in person (save for Chris) but yet it wasn't awkward at all. I suppose reading everyone's deepest, darkest secrets on their blogs kinda breaks the ice....no? LOL!

At some point after Justin showed up and we all were enjoying some more drinks, Chris excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came back he goes to me...

Chris: K....his name is _________
Me: Wha
Chris: That's his name....the German.
Me: Say whaa? How do you know?
Chris: I just talked to him over there...now you know his name go talk to him.
Me: LOL! You're crazy!

So yea, I think from now on i'll refer to him as "The German" or "German Boy" interchangeably as I do not want to put everything out there. HAHA...sue me!

So, by this time I was really tipsy on my third or fourth drink. Yes I know laugh...do whatever...K is a lightweight, we have discussed this at length...LOL! It was also funny because Billy and Justin were teasing me on my drink choices. I think I had a Whiskey Sour or Midori Sour....I dunno...something really funny like that. Y'all should know out there that I do not drink beer because I think that shit is sooo nastay. I'll stick with my fruity drinks...haha! I believe Billy told me (or was it Justin) that I might as well just join a sorority right now. HAHA! Funny guys....realllllll funny.

Anywho, I was on a barstool talking to Chris when The German walked past. He looked at me and smiled so I was like to myself "K...ya know what....this is your fucking opening...just take it..whatever" So i stuck my arm out like parents do when they are trying to stop their children from running across the street.

Yea, I totally clotheslined him WWE style!

LOL just kidding folks....it wasn't that rough...although I did get his attention. We started talking and what I thought would be a quick "hey how are you/ I'm fine" conversation turned into a good 10 to 15 minute one. He was drunk....but it was a friendly/bubbly type drunk and not a sloppy/belligerent type of drunk. He was even more adorable up close and since it was really loud and packed in the bar...we had to talk in each others ear to hear what we were saying. Im not even gonna lie....I really enjoyed being close to him like that. We eventually got really close in convo and a couple of times his leg found it's way between mine as I was still sitting on the stool and he was standing in front of me. Kinda hot, not gonna lie.

So we were talking about various things...school...work...Germany....blah blah blah. The whole time I'm thinking, "dude you are so close..I really want to kiss you right now but there is no way I'm gonna be able to make that first move...omg stop looking at me like that...you are making this hard!" Hehehehe......

Eventually our conversation got to music. He was like.....

German Boy: I don't like the music here!
Me: Whatya mean?
German Boy: I like Hip-Hop music! I wanna D-A-N-C-E! {throws hands up in the air}
Me: LOL.....You like Hip-Hop?!?!?!
German Boy: Whaaaa you don't think I like Hip-Hop music?!?! {starts singing some unintelligible song.....with his accent I couldn't make it out..LOL}
Me: So go dance then!
German Boy: You want to go?
Me: I'm here with my friends {points all around me}
German Boy: Well I wanna go...I am ready to dance!
Me: Ha...so you're leaving me?
German Boy: I think I'm going to Gym
Me: You're going to Gym? Isn't that a sports bar?
German Boy: No silly...not Gym...G!!! {with his accent I thought he said he was going to Gym haha}
Me: Oh....so if I meet up with you later will you save me a dance?
German Boy: OF COURSE
Me: Promise?!?!
German Boy: Hey you want my number!
Me: Sure, sure! {pulls out phone and asks myself "why I didn't fucking think about that!}
German Boy: {gives me his number} Make sure to call me OK!
Me: You're on....betta save me a dance!
German Boy: I will, I will...bye! {skips off}

Ok....so he didn't actually "skip" but he was just so bubbly that it kinda looked that way. HAHA! He was so adorable...and I was smitten..not gonna lie. I had really naughty thoughts of having my way with him....but I had to bring it down to Earth...lest I build the whole conversation up too much and ultimately disappoint myself....

So the guys were all like "so where is the German going" and I said...he is going to G. I think JP or Billy said "so are we following him there or what?" To which I LOL'ed and said that I didn't want to look too eager or desperate....but I also made it clear that I wanted to get a piece of that wienerschnitzel.....LMFAO!

I am clearly corny as fuck in addition to being absolutely retarded...I get one free pass...forgive me plz!

So we stayed at Barracuda for about 1/2 hour after that. JP was talking up some cute guy and Chris was hollerin at some latin guy....both quite cute I must say. Eventually we made our way to Gym because I didn't want to go straight to G. I know, I know...I was playing games.....but it seriously all worked out in the end for me...you just wait and see.

Once we got into Gym, it was kinda dead I must say. Dead, except for the Roman Ragazzi sighting. Yes boys, the porn star was up in Gym looking jacked as ever! Very, very hot....ya think he has been following me around the city? LOL, just kidding.....but really....he is becoming like a weekly occurrence now. You know you are spending too much time trolling 'round Chelsea when you keep on bumping into porn stars....HAHAHAHA!

Anyways, we must have spent about an hour there and I thought that was a sufficient amount of time to pass before I headed on over to G. JP got some more free drinks and then we packed it up and hoofed it on over to 19th Street.

As soon as I walked into the place my eyes were darting all over the place trying to find German Boy. We all dropped off our coats behind a couch and then went to get some drinks at the circular bar. I got another Whiskey Sour (laugh...ha ha) and then I started looking around with Chris...literally checking every nook and cranny of that bitch for him. I know, it was kinda sad...but I wanted my fucking dance and he started it by coming out to the club looking so hot. UGH! So I searched....we searched....couldn't find the lil guy so I went into "Only Child Pout Mode". Everyone was like "K find a new guy...look at all the hotties in here....blah blah blah." Honestly they were right (you are about to see how much so!) but seriously....I was kinda fixated and when I don't get what I want I get kinda pissed off....LOL!

Whatever....so I resigned myself to the fact that I would never see German Boy again. You should also note that before arriving at G, I had txt'ed him to tell him that we were on our way and to stay put.

No response...

I should have known by then that it wasn't gonna work out as planned...but I am a naive little boy who actually thought that he would be there waiting for me when I arrived. Haha...sue me bitch!

So eventually Justin and Billy decided that they wanted to grab a smoke so we walked back towards the front of the lounge so that they could get to there coats......

Guess who I saw outside power walking his fine ass down 19th Street?

Yes, it was German Boy...and he was getting away!!!

So knowing me...what do I do?

Of course your boy K starts knocking people over to get outside and catch him. Nevermind that I did bother to grab my coat and it was literally 20 degrees outside. Oh no! I clearly was on a mission.....

By the time I got outside he was out of shouting range....and I was freezing and didn't want to run all the way down to 7th Ave to catch him. So I did the next logical thing (and kinda obnoxious now that I think about it) and I txt'ed him....

" Yo, I just saw you run down 19th...come back I'm at G...I wanna talk to you"

LMFAO...laugh laugh laugh it up.....if you saw what this kid looked like you would probably have done the same thing. This isn't me talking out of my ass...go ask everyone else who was there that night...the kid was hot and I was determined damnit! (and pretty drunk)

So....I stayed out there for a while with Billy and Justin in my paper thin, Boss long-sleeved crew and a scarf...just pretending I was warm even tho I was quickly turning into a Chocolate Fudgcicle! I was clutching my phone in my shivering palms...hoping that it would vibrate.

It never did.....

Fuck it! Now I was pissed because he was clearly there and I missed him. Whatever...I decided that I was just gonna let it go and enjoy the rest of the night with the bloggers and chalk this one up to experience....

Pull your chairs closer......this is where it REALLY gets good!

So we go back inside and I grab another drink to wash away the pain of rejection...LOL! All of us are at the bar chatting away and having a good time when I notice this other hottie out of the corner of my eye. My height.....really nice body....HUGE ARMS OMG...and wait...are you looking at me?

No, no, no....God please stop taunting me this evening...I cannot take it anymore!

I'm looking at this guy...and he was looking at me and objectively I am thinking to myself, "K....don't even go there buddy...that guy is literally 10x hotter than you....there is just no way he is looking at you....he must be looking at someone else around you...don't fall into the same trap twice in one night thinking someone is interested when they are really not....JUST STOP IT!"

You know I didn't follow my better judgement right?

LMAO!

Now, I am kinda fuzzy as to who came up to who first...but all I know we found ourselves pined up against the bar really close chatting. We were talking about nothing in particular that I can remember.....or maybe that is because my mind was busy with processing other things like his amazing.......well everything actually.....he was really hot. LOL! You should also know that I was reallly drunk at this point...and clearly this guy was gone too.

He had this really goofy laugh that I just thought was totally adorable and I distictly remember asking him whether or not he wanted to go to the couches in the back to chat.....to which he replied "K, you're naughty".

LOL...I'm cracking up as I am writing this because in reality HE IS THE NAUGHTY ONE!

Why you ask?

Well that is because our "close chit-chat" quickly deteriorated into a full out make out session/fondling session!

WHAT CHU SAY WILIS?!?!?!

Yes people....while we were full on making out at the bar, Polish Guy (He immigrated from Poland with his family when he was 11) stuck his hands DOWN THE FRONT OF MY PANTS and started to acquaint himself with Little K.

I shit you not......

I was less bothered by the fact that he was technically jacking me off in public...and more so concerned with the fact that I was making absolutely no effort to stop him WHATSOEVER......

And the crowd says: "K, YOU FUCKING WHORE!"

Yea, yea....whatever. I'm embracing my looseness for that evening...shit....you would too if you saw this guy. I know this is becoming cliche', but seriously....if you saw this guy you would fucking understand....you'd totally be doing it too!

LOL...ok....maybe not, but indulge me...mmmkay?

Finally, the appropriate, reasonable and rational side of my brain wrestled the "other" half to the floor and I grabbed his hand and told him he couldn't do that to me out in public. The convo went a lil something like this.....

Me: Stop
Polish Boy: {Giggles & grabs my cock AGAIN}
Me: No really {giggles} you can't be grabbing my junk in public...it's not right.
Polish Boy: Don't act like you don't like it...look how hard you are.
Me: {LOL's at the absurdity of my present situation} So?!?! You're fucking bad!
Polish Boy: Haha....you're bad! {sticks his hands in my pants again}
Me: Dude...we can't...stop! {giggles}
Polish Boy: You're so fucking naughty!
Me: MEEEEE? Your naughty!
Polish Boy: {proceeds to make out w/ me some more} Yea you!
Me: No {kiss} really {kiss, kiss} you should {kiss} stop.
Polish Boy: We are so bad.
Me: Yes...yes we are

So basically this went on for another 10-15 minutes I guess? I don't really know...you'd have to ask the other bloggers because I kinda lost track of time and space for obvious reasons....LOL! All I know is that we exchanged numbers and made out some more....and then promised to call each other again the next day....and then made out some more...

Wash, rinse, repeat.........

After some time he decided that he needed to go find his friends....so we made out some more and then he went to find em. I turned back around to all the bloggers and they were all laughing, cat-calling, making funny faces....etc etc etc. It was all really hilarious. One of them said (I don't remember who) "dude.....you are totally going home with him tonight.....if you don't go home with him....I'm totally writing that K is a fucking pussy on my blog."

Everyone laughed...it was good times...etc, etc....

Then someone asked jokingly, "German Boy who?....What about a lil German Boy?"

LOLOLOL! That was really funny....because in all honesty....I totally forgot about him. LOL! (He will come back into the story later...you just wait)

Anyways, during the ribbing I was getting from the guys I turned around and I saw him with his friends staring at me lecherously......

So I did what you would do........


I WENT BACK FOR SECONDS DAMNIT!!! (or was it fifths or sixths?)

Again....we went at it like dogs in heat...LOL! I'm not gonna lie....it was amazing...I enjoyed every minute of it...but clearly this was just the appetizer for the evening.....oh yes kids....there is more!

I introduced Polish Guy to the guys and we all chatted some. Eventually we decided that it was time to peace the joint because we were getting hungry. For whatever reason, I don't believe a drunken night is complete without having some fun at a diner...so I suggested it. Everyone agreed annnndddd Polish Guy decided he was hungry too so I invited him along.

So he went and said bye to his friends and I helped him get his stuff from the coat check. We said bye to Billy because he decided that it was getting late and he wanted to head home. It must have been close to 4 by this time, but I am really not sure.

Anyways Chris, Justin and JP were walking in front of us and I was walking hand in hand with Polish Guy.

Actually, ya know what....that kinda isn't totally correct. LOL! It was more like we were walking shoulder to shoulder with our arms over each others backs. Whatever.........we were kinda drunk and we were helping each other down the street....and Polish Guy continued to help himself to my cash and prizes.....

Polish Guy: Haha....what do we have here? {whispers in my ear while he grabs my crotch}
Me: OMG...{giggles} we are out on the street damnit! Stop!
Polish Guy: You've got a hhaaarrrddd on, and it's cuz of me!
Me: {guffaws} You are right...and I promise that you'll see it...but not now.
Polish Guys {squeezes my cock, leans over and kisses me}
Me: {kisses back like the slut that I am while trying to avoid garbage cans and other obstructions} LOL!

So finally we got to Hollywood Diner and of course it is packed as always....and of course we get a table in the middle of the place. Great! As we are settling in Justin yells out, "dude we should call JR right now!" JP and Chris agreed so I pulled out my phone and dialed that bitch up at what had to be like 2 or 3 PST...LOL! (sorry buddy...drunk dialing...what are you gonna do?) So we chatted for a second while I helped Polish Guy get situated next to me in his chair...then I handed my phone to JP so everyone could have a chance to chat with him. What ensued between Polish guy and I while everyone was focused on the phone call was a gay (and tamer version, but not by much) scene from Wedding Crashers between Vince and Isla .....



LOL! I kid you not....this guy literally could not keep his hands off my crotch for 5 seconds. Not that I minded AT ALLL! But come on people....I am in the middle of a crowded diner and this guy is alternating between rubbing me through my jeans and grabbing a palm of bareass. LOL! Insatiable I tell you....what an eager beaver this one was! Not to say that I wasn't as horned up as he was....because I was totally.....but I wasn't as gone as he was...and I clearly not as brazen!

Eventually the phone came back to me while we were in the process of ordering and I am almost positive I gave the phone to Polish Guy so he could introduce himself to JR. (Do you remember this....or am I making that up....I don't remember) Anywho, we ordered our food....and I order for Polish Guy because he was too busy fondling me...he didn't even really look at his menu...crazy!!

So we all chatted about random stuff while we were eating there at the diner. There were a couple of funny one-liners from JP but I don't remember them specifically. We were all rolling tho...it was definitely good times.

I believe that we left the diner at almost 5. Chris had to catch a cab back to Penn Station so he could get his train back home. The rest of us jumped into another cab so that Justin could get back to his (posh UES) hotel...haha! It was convenient for all of us to share since Polish Boy's apt was in the Upper East Side as well.....oh yes people....you know I was going back to his place!

I am pretty sure that at some point during the night it was Justin who said...."dude, you should go home with him....even if it is just to cuddle!!!"

L-M-F-A-O!

Well I took his advice and it was totally worth it. We dropped the boys off at the hotel and then me and Polish Boy kinda went at it in the back of the cab for the next 30-40 blocks. LOL! We're naughty....what can I say? I'm pretty sure I saw the cabbie shaking his head and laughing to himself up there.....but honestly I didn't care....and you know Mr. Grab-ass sitting next to me (or more accurately, 1/2 on top of me) didn't give a flying fuck either.

Fun times, fun times indeed!

Anyways...we finally got to his apartment....which OMG let me just take a second to describe.....

RIDICULOUS!

It is totally the kind of Upper East Side apartment that you would expect from a MBA grad who works on Wall Street. Let's just leave it at that....mmkay.

Oh.....and the bed! Literally....the biggest bed that I have ever been in my entire life. I am pretty sure it was a California King....that shit was just excessive! I mean.....we ended up putting it to good use throughout the night....and into the morning (thrice over for those nosy ones out there...LOL) but still....no one needs a bed that big! And his bedding honestly was like 5-star quality Ritz-Carlton/The Four Seasons shit.....so ridiculously comfortable it just didn't make any sense!

Anyways so I know you're mad because I cleverly slipped the sex part into the last paragraph without really elaborating on it. HAHA! You know me...don't act surprised!

No but really....you should know that I am a classy guy (well as classy as you can get after what I just told you the previous 20 paragraphs..LOL) We didn't go all the way. Actual fucking is gonna have to wait until I know him better.....ooooooooo but guys....we did everything thing else...EVERYTHING! And it was {insert over-the-top adj here}! I have never had so much fun in my entire life....and the morning was even better because it wasn't a 'wham-bam that you ma'am now get up and go' kinda thing....we actually rolled around in bed, chatted, laughed and had really good conversation on a whole host of topics. I actually didn't leave his apartment until about 2PM on Saturday.....we were literally there chatting and cuddling for hours!

By this time...I am sure you are tired of reading this....I am pretty sure this is the longest blog post in the history of Blogger! LOL! Hopefully I don't crash the system when I try to publish this.....but I have one more funny thing to tell you guys.

So earlier in the morning I woke up and Polish Guy was still asleep under my arm. I went to grab my phone because I heard it vibrating and it was Justin txt'ing leaving me a wonderful message.....and I quote.....

"what are you two lovebirds doing today"

LOL! You're a mess buddy! Anyways I was in the process of txt'ing him back when GUESS WHO CALLS ME UP?!?!!?

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT WAS GERMAN GUY???????

I SWEAR TO YOU! I WAS IN SHOCK!

(you know I picked it up right.....clearly I have no shame)

Me: Hello
German Guy: HEY K!
Me: Hey, what's going on buddy...have a good night?
German Guy: Hey...I just got your txt's....I am sorry that I didn't txt you back my batteries died last night when I got to G.
Me: Oh yea?
German Guy: Yea...that is why I am calling you back....to apologize.
Me: Oh man..don't worry about it...things like that happen all the time {as I look over to my left and contemplates how I could ever get angry for him not calling/txt'ing me back last night}
German Guy: I was there forever waiting for you.....I was saving you a dance......after a while I figured you were not gonna show up so I just left

Aside #1: Please guys....take this situation as an example......do not play games when it comes to meeting up with someone later in the night. Even tho it turned out AMAZINGLY for me, if I not met up with Polish Guy...I would have been having this conversation with German Guy from my own bed...and pissed off as all hell that I didn't just go straight to G first rather than to lollygag around for almost 2 hours so it would "look like" I wasn't that interested...LOL! Never again (although clearly some things happen for a reason)

Me: Oh I am sorry...we hit up another place before we got to G....
German Guy: What I don't understand is how come you didn't come after me on 19th....you said you saw me.
Me: I did....I saw you walking down the street as while I was still inside the club...by the time I got outside you were so far away and I didn't have my jacket on.
German Guy: Ohhhhh, well that is a shame....I am still saving that dance for you tho!
Me: Oh yea?
German Guy: Yes, Yes....you live in the city right? I don't remember.
Me: Yes I do!
German Guy: Great! So what are you doing tonight?!?
Me: Ahhhh {looks over at fast asleep Polish Guy to my left} I don't really have any plans...but I have to go home and study.
German Guy: Oh come on....leave that shit...lets go out dancing tonight!
Me: I really don't think I can...I have a lot of stuff to do I mean i just called into work because I have so much stuff to deal with and I am not feeling to well.
German Guy: Ugh....that is lame {hears him pout...LOL}
Me: Tell you what, I will start up on all this work and then I will call you later if I get to a position where I will not feel guilty if I go out.
German Guy: I'd like that.....I want to see you again.
Me: I'd like to see you too..so it is a deal?
German Guy: Yea, sure.....call me up!
Me: Ok....we will chat....ttyl.

So now I know all of you are rolling your eyes at me. "K you are worse that a fucking whore now......you're a fucking player......not only did you go home with Polish Guy....but now you're chatting with German Guy and kinda making future plans him as Polish Guy is sleeping naked right next to you!"

LOL...I feel dirty...no need to tell me twice...but I was really curious to hear what German Guy had to say to me about the previous night...and clearly I am not an expert in dealing with ANY of the situations that have arisen in the past 24 hours.....so what would you expect? LOL!

Anyways, I decided as I was on the subway home Sat afternoon (I met up with JP and Justin again after I left Polish Boy's apt) that there was no harm in meeting up with German Guy again and having a drink. At about 6 that evening.....guess who called me back?

It was German Guy AGAIN trying to find out whether or not we were going to go out that night.....LOL! This little one is persistent.......and I don't have to tell you how incredibly awkward this whole situation is for me. I mean I have NEVER been pursued in my entire life....certainly not by a guy (hot or otherwise) and not even really from girls. I mean, I'm thinking to myself..."K....what kinda of parallel universe have you stepped into where you just hooked up and had an amazing time with a fucking stud and I have another hottie blowing up your cell phone twice in the past 4 hours trying to hang out?

Is it the soap that I used? My cologne? LMAO! I did not know what was happening to me. But wait til you hear THIS conversation....

Me: Hey buddy....long time not talk LOL!
German Guy: HAHA funny K!
Me: LOL! No really....how are you doing?
German Guy: I am great....how is the homework coming along?
Me: Pretty good.....still not close to being finished tho.
German Guy: OH NO!
Me: Yea.....
German Guy: I still think we should go out...come on
Me: Come on buddy...I really can't. I've got so much to do..how about later in the week?
German Guy: But we don't even have to go out drinking....or even dancing...we can go out to eat....or we can even grab a coffee or something!
Me: You want to eat?
German Guy: Yea....let's go to Dave and Busters....I love that place!
Me: I guess I could spare an hour or so to grab a bite to eat...where is that place?
German Guy: There is one right by my place.....
Me: Oh...where do you live again?
German Guy: I am on Long Island
Me: UR WHERE?!?!?!
German Guy: I live on Long Island...we talked about this at Barracuda.
Me: Oh...yea you are right (it actually slipped my mind but we did talk about this and he does go to Stony Brook....so I should have remembered...stupid K)
German Guy: So lets go then!
Me: Dude...there is no way I can go all the way to Long Island today...I have so much work.
German Guy: But it is close...you could make it.
Me: Isn't that like an hour+ train ride?
German Guy: Oh....you don't drive?
Me: No I don't drive...I don't need a car in the city...if I went over there I would have to take the LIRR.
German Guy: Ugh...I guess you are right.....it would take a long time. BUT LISTEN...Have you ever BEEEEEEEEN to Long Island?
Me: Haha...no I haven't
German Guy: Omg....it is so much fun....I can show you around and you can see my place and stuff!

Aside #2: PUMP YOUR BREAKS MY LIL WEINERSCHIZEL.....you want me to come to your place? This is all a trap isn't it? This was your plan allllll along..........you bossy lil bottom you! Shame!

Me: Ummm yea....as much as I would love to see Long Island....I really can't right now. I mean, next week is my last week of class and I have so much to accomplish.
German Guy: Ok then....how about next weekend....we will meet in the city then right?
Me: Yea, of course....I would love to meet with you next weekend...that would be great....I'll be done with classes by then so it will be no problem.
German Guy: You must promise me!
Me: Dude....I promise I will call you.....I was gonna call you later tonight too....but you did first, LOL! When I say I am going to do something....I mean it.
German Guy: OK....I trust you...but you better call me by next weekend or else it is gonna be hell!
Me: HAHA...dude...you have my word....I'm am actually kinda scared of you.....you are kind of gangsta!
German Guy: I am? HAHA!
Me: Yea....you kinda are....
German Guy: No one ever called me "the gangsta" before (imagine this being said in a slightly thick German accent...it's HILARIOUS)
Me: LOLOL...you are so cute!
German Guy: I know!
Me: Ummm full of yourself much?
German Guy: Haha...no no. You are cute too!
Me: I KNOW!
German Guy: HAHAHA...funny guy huh?
Me: I suppose so....listen I've got to get back to this chapter...we will talk soon I promise.
German Guy: Ok, I'll ttyl...and good luck
Me: Thanks

LMFAO....who woulda thunk it? Lil' ol K.....getting his swerve on and bagging two hotties on the same night. I swear I am looking for Ashton Kutcher somewhere under my bed.....this cannot be right...I am totally being punk'd right now!

Anywho....I called Polish Guy back on Sunday morning before I went to work to find out how he was feeling and maybe set up a time for us to go out and eat this week and he txt'ed me back saying that he would give me a call later in the week to set something up. I really hope he does because to be honest....I am kinda feeling him a bit more than German Guy. But that could just because he had my cock in his mouth and vice versa.....you know how that tends to skew ones thinking.

LOLOL!

No but really and truly.....I want a chance to get to know him a lot more.....in a real life situation like over dinner or something. He is a really smart, playful, fun and interesting guy. I mean just a cursory look at one of the bookcases in his apartment revealed a shitload of books on subjects like Eastern Religion, Kabbalah (he wears a bracelet by the way), political theory...etc etc etc

He even has an photograph of himself with fucking Hillary Rodham Clinton at a New Hampshire rally on his refrigerator! Apparently he is a official volunteer for her Presidential campaign. (I know you are gonna have a field day with his one Pete..LOL!) This is one of the many things I'd love to a chance to chat with him about in a dinner-type setting. All I have to say is......even though he is supporting the worst Democratic candidate (IMHO of course) at least he is a Democrat.

I would have pained me so deeply to find out he was a Republican.....that would have just killed the entire weekend for me.

LMFAO!

(I am only 1/2 joking btw)

Anyways, the ball is in his court, i'll wait for his call and hopefully take it from there. I am kinda excited! In the meantime I am going try to NOT fail out of grad school and ace these finals this week! I am also gonna see what is up with German Guy this upcoming week/weekend. I would actually like to see him in a real life setting first before I see him in a club or bar...ya know? See if we can click outside of...."hey you're hot/ you're hot too/ I'm drunk/ you're drunk too/ lets dance and then go back to Long Island so you can see my "place" etc etc.....LOL!

Have a great week guys! And I am gonna let Justin tell you ALL ABOUT Sunday night when I met up with him in Hell's Kitchen. There was a certain somebody that almost caught a BEAT DOWN at Vlada...he will give you the details, I promise.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The Most Splendiferous Night Ever

So I met up with Christian, Justin, JP and Billy last night and let me just tell you......what a night!

Definitely the best night I've had in NYC thus far......socially speaking...I was so tired that I had to call out of work this afternoon. LOL! I'll have the full breakdown of the night coming up a bit later.....including the two hotties that I met (one of whom I kinda sorta went home with)

Don't Judge, Don't Judge.....Haha!

Anyways, I have finals to study for...so you guys will have to wait a bit!

Friday, December 7, 2007

I'll Be There Steve-o!

So if anyone has been paying attention Apple is going to be having the Grand Opening of their new store in the Meatpacking District tonight at 6PM. I'll definitely swing by to check it out with CNN Boy and PR Boy. Since we are all Apple zealots, it will give us a perfect opportunity to quench our over the top fanboyism. LMAO!

Apparently they will be giving away free shit...which is always a good thing. Plus, take a look at this architecture! This store is gonna be the largest in Manhattan (even bigger than the 5th Ave store...which is massive!) Check out the glass staircase......it's INSANE!







Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Get That Heisman Timmy!!!!!








So in case you forgot the Heisman Trophy is going to be awarded this Saturday and I'm PRRAAAAYYYINNNN it goes to my boy Tim Tebow. (LOL, I'm acting like I know him irl.....which I don't....although I ran into him numerous times on campus....and can I just say Ay dios mio!!!!)

He is so fine. I say he is hottest QB in College Football right now....even more than that Colt Brennan douche from Hawaii....but I digress......

Anyways, he is pretty much the favorite to win right now and if he does it would be a great ending to a not so hot season for us. Well of course that and trouncing Michigan in the Capital One Bowl on New Years. We gotta make up for '03 Outback Bowl travesty. Ugh......it was my Freshman year and I STILL remember that game....horrible!

Anyways...good luck on Saturday Tim...take it home for the Gator Nation!

**EDIT: ON a totally unrelated note....I just wanted to wish all my Jewish peeps out there who read my blog a Happy Hanukkah and all that! Hope you have fun with your families and get lotsa fly presents!**

**EDIT #2: Whorehouse Boy just sent me this and I thought it was hilarious.......**

Sunday, December 2, 2007

IT SNOWED!!!!

So I woke up this morning to this scene from my window.......



Now.....even tho I am Canadian by birth, I spent the majority of my childhood in South Florida. Translation: we put Xmas lights on Palm Trees and pretended it was really Christmas when it was really like 70 degrees outside....LOL!

Needless to say...I'm kinda excited for the snow....although I am sure it is gonna get really old really fast!

Even better.....now I can dip into the other 1/2 of my closet that I NEVER had a chance to use while in Florida. Winter clothes are so much fun {claps}

Hope everyone has a great week...excuse me while I run down the street to get some Hot Chocolate!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

VIDEO OF THE YEAR!!!



First off let me tell you how much I love Snoop Dogg. This video however, just made me love him even more. This is so Prince circa 1984....and he totally raided Bootsy Collins closet with his sparkly get-up and huge glasses

OMG....And he has a KEYTAR!

Im not sold on the song yet because this T-Pain/Cher Vocoder voice thing is getting out of hand...but it is Snoop Dogg so he can do whatever he wants. He basically wins at life.

So PIMP-A-LICIOUS!

(I totally want to be like the gay Snoop Dogg....pimpin ho's and smackin bitches...except all mine would have penises and look like this)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Pics (Finally)

I finally uploaded the pics to my computer so I figured I'd throw them up here...since I said I was gonna do it previously.....

The Inflation...The Night Before.





The Big Day.....

Dora The Explorer (Remember what I said about that kid in your class Matt)


Good Charlotte (Didn't want to wave to the kids...lost points in my book bitches. Im sorry, you cannot be hard RAWK on a damn float...so stop frontin and wave to the fucking kids)

Jonas Brothers (Kinda cute...and kinda jailbait....Chris Hansen don't come for me.....mmmkay?)

Kermy!!!

Pickachu (Is it bad that I used to love Pokemon back in the day?...LOL)

Shrek

Monday, November 26, 2007

You Know How I Know You're Gay?

So everyone remembers this exchange from the 40 Year Old Virgin b/t Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen right? If not, let's jog your memory......


So anyways...it was a shitty day today in NYC and I didn't go out in the afternoon like I usually do before my evening class. I really should have been working on YET ANOTHER paper...LOL....but I got so disenchanted with the whole thing that decided to watch this movie. It always puts a smile on my face but today it did a little something extra for me.....

When I got to this scene I paused it, and for whatever reason decided to do my own internal version of this scene....LMAO. Crazy I know....but taking inventory of my room and using it as material in this crazy exchange lead to some very funny results....at least IMO.

Internal K: You Know How I Know You're Gay?
Me: Because I like cock?
Internal K: Well besides that....
Me: No, why
Internal K: Welllll you just bought a cashmere scarf
Me: So, its getting cold...that's perfectly acceptable
Internal K: But you also got matching finger gloves to go with it...
Me: Ummm so? Those are functional..I can't handle shit w/ regular gloves on...plus I can't use my phone unless my fingers are physically in contact with the screen.
Internal K: Whatever, you know that shit looks gay...
Me: Fuck You
Internal K: Hey K....you also wanna know how I know your gay?
Me: Ugh...how?
Internal K: Because you've been humming this lil diddy all day
Me: Hey listen...that song is catchy...I can't help it!
Internal K: Whatever, you know you're about to put that shit on rotation on ur iPod....don't even front!
Me: I'm not apologizing for that...go to hell!
Internal K: Hey hey....you also wanna know how I know you're gay?
K: What is it now?
Internal K: You were flipping out this morning when you found out that you were almost out of a this
K: Soooo? My skin gets dry and I'm not trying to have sun damage at 23....
Internal K: So gay!
K: Ughhhh

Thursday, November 22, 2007

How Do I Keep On Getting Into These Ridiculous Situations? (NSFW)

So in addition to being thankful for my family, friends, health and strength....I also have to take time out to be thankful for amazing bowel control...seeing as tho I was quite close to shitting myself this afternoon.

Why you ask?

Because.........my friends.........I WAS A FOOT AWAY from a real life porn star on the subway.....

I dunno if any of you are familiar with Roman Ragazzi but he is relatively new porn star who works with Raging Stallion, Collin O'Neal and some other studios. Please don't ask me how I know this information......a little birdie told me........I SWEAR TO YOU!





Those of you who are unfamiliar with his....ahem...."works" can familiarize yourselves by clicking here, here, here, here, here, annnnnddddddd here. You know, for educational/informational purposes only........

Anywho, back to my story. So CNN Boy and I were coming back from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (which was really plesant by the way...I will throw some pics up later....but this takes precedence LOL!) So as usual, we were having a good time taking pictures, laughing at the corniness of some of the floats/costumes....blah blah blah. Eventually we decided that we were hungry and since we were right near a B/C station......we decided to hop on the C.....take it downtown and see if anything good was open.

While we were on the train, I suggested that we get off at 14th......not because I had some ulterior motive behind roaming around Chelsea (LOL...i'm actually serious) but because I know that there is this great 24hr diner on 16th and 6th that I had a feeling would be open for Thanksgiving.

So we got off the train and we were chatting about something in particular.......which kinda escapes me right now....but honestly, it's irrelevant. LOL! What IS relevant however is the fact that I when I looked up (CNN Boy was lagging behind like two steps to my left and I was walking up the right hand of the stairs) freakin' Roman Ragazzi was two steps in front of my face...coming down the stairs!

Those of you out there with a grasp of trigonometry...along with a knack for constructing a good mental picture will realize that standing at 5'10 myself coupled with being situated about 2 steps down from Mr. Ragazzi would put my line of sight squarely....AT CROTCH LEVEL. LMAO!

This is a problem for a VARIETY of reasons........

#1: I did not realize it was him until my eyes traveled up his body (reflexively of course....shit...I am a gay man...you cant put a package like that in my face without expecting me to find out who it belongs to!)

#2: It left me in an EXTREMELY vulnerable position because after I saw his face, I was frozen for what seemed like forever! I mean, I've seen you in porn and now you are right in front of my fucking face irl! Shoot...I'm slick, but it is really hard to play shit like that off.....I've seen your peen for goodness sakes!

#3: I wasn't alone.....a fact that became INCREDIBLY EVIDENT when I heard CNN Boy finally come up on my left and pass me. That clearly brought me back to Mother Earth because I quickly side-stepped to my left to follow behind. Before I did tho...I looked back up at Roman's face....and he was wearing THE EXACT same expression as in the first pic above. Now I cannot decipher this look...it's somewhere between sexy/smoldering and mild annoyance. Seeing as tho I WAS in his way....and I am not physically impressive in the slightest....I am going to go with mild annoyance, however he generally seems like a pretty serious guy...so maybe that is just how his face is naturally...who knows?

Anyways.....when we got up the stairs, an interesting conversation ensued..............

CNN Boy: Had a hard time getting out of Rambo's way? {laughes}
Me: Wai.......whaaa?
CNN Boy: That guy back there {turns and points} he is like a fucking action figure
Me: {Insert nervous laugh} Yea, he is pretty swole
CNN Boy: He reminds me of those balloons we just saw...I bet if you poked him with a pin he would deflate {guffaws}
Me: HaHa....ur just angry because you've been hitting the gym and ur still scrawny like whoa!
CNN Boy: Fuck You!
Me: LMAO!

Soooooo, sitting back and thinking about it now.....I think I may have perhaps inadvertently 'kinda sorta' outed myself to CNN Boy. I mean clearly I was staring at Roman for a substantial amount of time...otherwise he wouldn't have had a reason to bring the whole 'getting out of Rambo's way' thing. He must be asking himself why on earth I was frozen in place when I saw him. The only silver lining of this whole fiasco is the fact that since CNN Boy is straight, there is really no way in hell he would know who Roman Ragazzi was because he only does gay porn. But then again.....I was staring at an attractive guy for who knows how long....and with him (CNN Boy) being situated behind me and to the left....he would probably be in the best position to observe my body language & facial expressions when I was in front of him. It doesn't make it any easier to explain...whether he is a random hot guy...or a major studio porn star...HE IS STILL A GUY...AND I WAS STARING [apparently].

I spent most of the day with CNN Boy...and he didn't act any differently or awkward towards me....so maybe I'm just over-thinking this. I can't help to think that I opened a can of worms today tho. We are good friends.....and I have no reason to think that he would take the news badly...he is a pretty liberal guy...but I'm just not ready to tell him yet, ya know? And I don't really want to be outed by freezing up in front of a porn star....haha. I'm gonna have to learn to control myself better.

But he was fucking hot.....10x better looking in person!

And built like a fucking...........

HOUSE!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving Peeps!



I hope everyone (in the US at least) has a great day tomorrow with their families! Have fun, and don't gorge yourselves!

This is gonna be a kinda weird Thanksgiving for me because im not going home, however so many of my friends are in the same boat that we all came together and made reservations at this really nice restaurant. So I guess this is the NYC way of doing Thanksgiving....haha!

Kinda excited for the Macy's Parade tomorrow too....I always used to watch it in the mornings while my Momz and Granny threw down in the kitchen...now I get to see it in person. Pray that it isn't too cold!

Have a good one.....and don't forget Black Friday....I expect all of you to be good mo's and throw down @ the mall....LOL!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Oh, The Things I Would Do To You......






The real question is........

At what point do I finally admit to myself that I have a HUGE infatuation problem with this guy? I swear to God, the day I see him in person is the day you will see my mug-shot plastered on E!/Entertainment Tonight/Access Hollywood because I will surely be arrested for mauling him in public......



{And it'll be totally worth it BTW}



Source
Source

Friday, November 16, 2007

You Know You Need A Vacation When.......

You walk outside in your work clothes...and all the way down to your subway station (6 blocks) before you realize that you are still wearing these........


Bonus points for actually standing there for about 3 seconds 'actually' contemplating whether or not to go back and change them......

I did by the way.....begrudgingly of course (they are so comfortable)

Someone book me a ticket to Rio or sumthin so I can find me a hot Brazilian stud...LOL!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Hollywood...Stop Ruining My Childhood!!!!!

Ok, I really should be writing a paper right now but something has been brought to my attn that I just have to rant about for a second.

One of my friends from back home just emailed to inform me that Twentieth Century Fox is going to be remaking one of my all time favorite cartoons growing up.......Dragon Ball Z



THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!

Even more egregious is the fact that they cast Justin Chatwin as Goku. (the main character of the series for those who are not familiar with the cartoon or original comic)

Who was in charge of casting for this bitch?

Justin Chatwin?
Really?
Was there no one else?

Do you see it?



Because I really can't.....

And by the way....how are you gonna make a Dragon Ball Z movie without Vegeta as the primary villain?

Bottom line, Hollywood this is an open letter....

Please, stop raping my childhood by producing these half-assed remakes of my favorite cartoons/shows/series with shitty casting and even shittier plot-lines. Just stop now! Be original and come up with a new and exciting concept and leave well enough alone. Gosh, and just when I finally getting *used* to a live-action remake of Speed Racer (which actually has pretty good casting) someone has to go and steal another piece of my childhood, ugh! Warner Brothers is even doing a remake of Thundercats for goodness sake!

IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Explain Plz.....

I was having a chat with Pete the other day about guys who we kinda think are overrated. I have actually had this conversation with a lot of you but just never got around to blogging about it...it has just been here collecting dust, haha. Anyways, I decided to compile a list (in no particular order) of guys who I, for the life of me......cannot understand what the big hub-bub is about. This is not to say that I wouldn't fool around with any of the guys if I had a chance (save for Tom..ugh) but I just really don't get all the swooning...haha! Feel free to add, disagree or rant/rave in general.

Brad Pitt

Justin Timberlake

Tom Cruise

Johnathan Rhys Myers

Leo DiCaprio

Mika (this one is for Pete...i'll co-sign)

Zac Efron

**I really want to find him attractive but I think the reason why I can't is because he reminds me SO MUCH of Peter Pan....and he always scared the shit out of me as a boy** {shivers}



P.S....no shit about me taking 'unflattering' pics of these guys to make my point.....I am doing all recent and neutral looking pics. (aka not a lot of airbrushing)