MR. ELEVATOR IS STRAIGHT.
I REPEAT.....
MR. ELEVATOR IS STRAIGHT.
How do I know?
Well, it says so on his Facebook profile (we're now friends on it). In addition, his wall is filled with women leaving bunches of lovey dovey messages....blah blah blah...he's probably fucked them.
(rolls eyes)
Other things I've gleaned from his profile...
I cannot even tell you how disappointed I am...mostly at myself to be honest. How is it that I managed to get fixated on the ONE STRAIGHT MAN IN NYC?
Seriously....
There are so many gay guys in the city....and good looking ones too...and yet I've decided that I want this unattainable guy. I am so self-destructive. What is even more pathetic is that when I was checking out his profile this morning I was like, "K....maybe he isn't straight....maybe he is just in the closet...kinda like you...ya know?" I suppose the reason I thought this was because my own Facebook profile still says that I am interested in women even though we all know that couldn't be further from the truth.
LOL!
Now, I would have changed it a long time ago but the thing is that I made the profile back in '03 and I haven't updated since '05. In addition I've got a shit ton of cousins, godbrothers/sisters and other family members who are on it. If I change my orientation on it now...or even make it so it is blank, that will totally clue everyone in and at the very least there will be whispers about what is going on with me. I really do not want to come out through Facebook for obvious reasons. I want to have control over who I tell and how. That is why I've left it unchanged for so long.....
So I was left wondering whether or not Mr. Elevator was in the same predicament as me. What if he really isn't straight and he just has his profile set up that way for whatever reason? Because to be honest, in our real life interactions....I get a totally ambiguous vibe from him.
And I don't think it is just me projecting at all.
He has complemented me on my outfits before. It wasn't anything specific like "OMG I love those Prada shoes" (this would absolutely be gay) but it really isn't standard for a straight guy to go out of his way to tell you that you look "really nice tonight" (he has actually said this to me before in the elevator).
But then again, Jay and I where talking about this the other day....you cannot really use the same criteria that you'd use to judge North American men and apply it to European men (or in this case, Australian men). I find that foreign men totally throw my gaydar off because the little tell-tale signs that you'd usually pick up in gay or questionable NA men are present in a lot of foreign guys (especially Europeans).
The trendy dress, the extra touchy feely-ness, the sexual openness.
These are all traits that you would kinda associate with someone who plays for our team. Now granted this is a huge generalization so don't beat me up for it, but you kinda get where I am going.
I suppose the only way I ever really know for certain is if I just straight up come out and ask him. I'm sure I can find a way to do this subtly, but it is gonna take a crazy amount of maneuvering to make it happen. The whole thing seems so futile to me....I really should focus my energy on finding a guy who is actually available instead of trying to find out what team this sexually ambiguous Aussie plays for......GRRRRRRR!
It's hard though because I see him at least once a day and most of the time when I do....he is dressed in the skimpiest gym attire. How on Earth can I be expected to concentrate when his goodies are being paraded in front of me every day?
It just isn't right......God stop taunting me!
15 comments:
When you want a guy to be gay, you'll find any and every sign a clear indication that you're right but sometimes...a straight guy is just a straight guy. I say move up and move on.
Damn str8 guys sending mixed signals. its a conspiracy I tell you.
Aussies, like the Brits, are an interesing bunch; always confusing us with their cute accents.
I'm sorry to hear that he's straight (or pretending to be according to facebook). But like you said he might have just not updated it or maybe he's even bisexual (and yes there is such a thing).
Either way will it still stop you from being friends with this person. I mean just look at how far you've come since spotting him earlier, you're not on his facebook page.
Your generalization about non-NAs is spot on. Europeans, including Aussies, are much less "macho" acting than NAs. Damn those foreigners!!!
Keep your hopes up man! There's tons of other hot, foreign guys out there!
For what it's worth I think you're more attractive than he is...
heck yeah,,,,,, talkabout thorwing off the gaydar... no f-ing way here in kabul. ha ha.
good luck, at least he's a hot bud to have. later.
The official Australian Football Leage season is about to start! now you just need to find what suburb of Melbourne he grew up in (most teams are suburbs of Melb - but sydney and the other cities each have one) and come up with a great excuse as to why you are a die hard fan! http://www.afl.com.au/
Its very simple -- CHANGE HIM.
Australians not macho? It's a "fair dinkum mate, let's skin the dingo and shoot some wallabis" kind of country.
I just can't imagine effeminate Aussis.
That said, I TOLD YOU SO! ;-)
Sweet, naive boy. You don't know he's straight until he turns you down flatly and tells you so. Even then, he might not be straight, you might just not be his type. As for all the girls, if you've read my blog, you'll see that I too have slept with a lot of women, and was gay all along. Many men on Facebook, (some even in your close circle) and in the world, are "Card carrying Republicans who vote Democrat", they're just not yet ready to be as "true to their party" as you are. - Lovesick Billy
Sweet, naive boy. You don't know he's straight until he turns you down flatly and tells you so. Even then, he might not be straight, you might just not be his type. As for all the girls, if you've read my blog, you'll see that I too have slept with a lot of women, and was gay all along. Many men on Facebook, and in the world, are "Card carrying Republicans who vote Democrat", they're just too afraid to be as "true to their party" as you are. - Lovesick Billy
bummer...you'll find another hottie to oogle over soon.
just ask him to a gay bar. if he says yes then hes gay. if he says no take him to a str8 bar, get him drunk, and have your way with him.
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