I am just warning y'all from now!
Also, I will refer you to Jay's blog where he will corroborate the events of January 26th, 2008....a day that will forever live in infamy!
(Ok, that was a bit dramatic...but you get it..LOL!)
I swear to you...G Lounge is literally the hottest spot in NYC. If you think that what happened back in December was scandalous, you are REALLY gonna shit a brick when you read this.
Cliff Notes version first:
- Saw Miguel's best friend from work @ the bar
- Some old guy bought us drinks
- I made out w/ this other guy's Fag Hag
- Then I made out with him
- Jay then made out with this this same guy
- Numerous scandalous pictures were taken
- Some triple-kiss came about with the guy and a Latin hottie named Eduardo
- Met a hot Air Canada flight attendant/personal trainer and his friends
- Some guy attempted to finger Jay
- Oh...and we were basically given an open invite for a three-way
Got all that?
LMFAO!
Let's me paint a picture of the night for ya...mmkay?
So first off....I met with PR Boy, Columbia Girl and some of her friends from camp at Stout. I had never been there before and it is basically a huge Irish pub. We ate and drank a bit while Columbia Girl caught up with her friends. All and all it was a pretty cool place and I would definitely go back.
This bar also had the benefit of attracting some of the hottest guys I've seen in New York. Big, beefy, strapping fellas...all drunk as hell, rowdy......and sadly......all straight. The way that they were chasing skirts was hilarious. I wish I had a video camera to film their sad attempts at kicking game to these females. One of them actually said to a girl hanging out in the corner....
"Baby, as long as I have a face....you'll always have a place to sit"
L-M-F-A-O!!!!!!
I'm sorry....but if that line doesn't make you wet...I dunno what's wrong with you! It's an instant classic.
Anyways, apparently Saturday night is karaoke night and Columbia Girl thought it would be funny to put my name down while no one was watching her. The song she chose...... "Baby, One More Time by Ms. Spears". LOL! I was so angry at her...I wigged the fuck out. At first I thought she was joking but she was dead serious...and I was like 6th or 7th on the list. There was no way I was gonna be doing any sort of karaoke...especially not that song...she musta been out of her fucking mind! So, I decided that I was gonna leave a bit earlier than planned (b/c I was already set to meet up with Jay later in the night after I was finished with them).
So I left that place and headed on down to G to continue the night's festivities. We met up at around 11ish and the place was PACKED as usual. Seriously, this place is always poppin and filled to the brim with hot men. Every size, color, age...it is just a smorgasbord of hotness. Haha!
So Jay and I found a place at the circular bar to get some drinks and position ourselves to check out all the hot guys making their rounds. As usual I could not focus because as soon as I spotted one guy...I spotted another...and then another...so on and so forth. I also spotted Miguel's friend from work passing by us a couple of times. I seriously cannot stand that kid...he is such a queeny fuckhead....it is ridiculous. Surprisingly tho, seing him there really didn't freak me out at all. I mean, I knew that he was probably gonna tell Miguel that he saw me there...and that would obviously clear up any lingering doubts that he might have had about my sexuality but ultimately I really could care less. Like I said, I didn't announce my sexuality at work and I don't plan to do so...or even really talk about it at all. I don't see how it is necessary or how it is relevant if I am being honest. Besides, its retail....everyone is assumed to be gay until proven otherwise.
LOL!
After that, I made eye contact with this Gotti Boy look alike (minus that horrible hair) across the bar and Jay co-signed on his attractiveness. At one point, he was positioned behind a stack of glasses and he actually peered around them to check and see if I was still looking at him.
Hehe!
I decided that I would try and talk to him if he came back in our direction. He ended up passing behind us for the first time so we both looked over our shoulders and were totally SHOCKED at how young he looked up close. Like....there was NO WAY IN HELL he was 21 years old (they check id's at the door). Anyways...I think we played the cat and mouse game for about an hour or so until I finally decided that I was gonna walk over to where he was heading and talk to him. When I finally caught up to him at the back of the lounge...he was full-on making out with another guy. LMFAO! It was by the coat check so I kinda think that perhaps he was waiting for this guy the entire time and he just came in to "greet" him. It was one hell of a greeting too I must say.
Anyways...with that out I went back to the bar where I had left Jay. we continued to take in all the eye candy and then he turned around to me quickly as I was txting Ben.
Jay: OMG, I think I just fucked up!
Me: What happened?
Jay: That old guy over there...in the white shirt....I think I looked over there too long
Me: {peers over} OMG he is like 50..LOL!
Jay: I think he just bought us drinks
Me: LOL....Lies...don't be ridiculous
Bartender: Here you go guys....from the guy over there {points to old guy}
Me: LMFAO you must be joking
Jay: LOL..oh shit...now I feel bad...we need to go talk to him
Me: Fuck that shit, I didn't ask for that drink
Jay: OMG I feel like an asshole, what should we do?
Me: I dunno playa....I didn't even look over there
Jay: We've gotta talk to him, we are obligated
Me: {looks over and mouths "thank you"}
Jay: {does the same}
Old Guy: {head nods and mouths "What's up?}
Me: Oh lord {goes back to txting}
So yea, I don't really know the protocol for handling such situations since no one has ever bought me a drink before...but whatever. I was still working on my previous one when that one was sent so I left it in front of me for a good 15-20 minutes. If I knew it was coming, I would have refused it but he already bought it and if we didn't drink it...it would have just gone to waste...
Mom always told me not to waste food (I am sure this extends to liquor too) so there....LOL!
Jay felt really guilty about the situation and decided he was gonna go over there personally and talk to him but when he turned around....he was already having (what looked to be) a thoroughly engaging conversation with another guy so I told Jay to forget about it.
He co-signed....
Anyways, throughout the night I had noticed this smoking hot guy over my right shoulder. He was tall, built and sexy as fuck. He was also a really good dancer...which I suppose means that he is pretty good at you know what as well. LOL! For the life of me I could not figure out his ethnicity or anything like that.....he looked like he was mixed or something but I could not tell. He very much resembled a younger, bald, more built Billy Zane....
He was wearing this deep-V cut black tee shirt that made his chest and arms look fantastic. Jay thought he looked pretty hot too. Unfortunately I was no where near drunk enough to go over and talk to him....so I continued to admire from afar. He definitely caught me looking over my shoulder at him a couple of times but then went back to dancing...or chatting with his friends. I silently hoped that they would all just leave and then I would have my chance to go over and talk to him. But alas...it didn't work out that way.
Jay and I eventually decided to move back against the wall opposite the circular bar so that I could get a bit closer to this guy and so that we could have a better vantage point to watch all the guys who were parading behind us. So we moved and got situated next to this cute guy and his fag hag.
This is where the fun starts.....
Now, I don't know exactly how we started talking but I do remember the chick eventually saying to me "you have really sexy lips".
LOL!
Somehow that evolved into a conversation about kissing in general b/t me, Jay, this latin guy that was in the group (Eduardo) this chick, and the guy she came with (Mike). Now...Mike claimed that girls kiss so much better than guys. So then I'm like....
Me: No way Jose...you've gotta prove it!
Mike: Dude, kiss D...she is an amazing kisser
D: Yea, I'm pretty good {winks}
Me: LOL, well how is that gonna help? I am gonna need something to compare it to!
Mike: Hahaha
Me: Well....i'll kiss her but then you have to kiss me so I can really compare.
Mike: Haha...alright!
Me: {Kisses the chick...no tongue}
Mike: Man...fuck that where is the tongue?!!?
Everyone else: Come on man...no tongue?
Me: LOL...alright...alright {goes in again}
[insert whistling in the background]
Me: Ok there...now it's your turn!
Mike: Alright {goes in to kiss me...all tongue..LOL! }
[camera flashes in the background]
LOL...D was taking pictures of us making out, hopefully they will not come back to haunt me later...but who cares. Anyways, alot of the details around that event are kinda hazy but Jay ended up kissing Mike too (and D got it on camera) then I ended up having a triple kiss with Mike and Eduardo (also on camera) and so did Jay....again...you guessed it....on camera! We musta taken like 2 or 3 dozen shots between the 5 of us. We were having a good time. HEHE!
Anyways we stayed over there and we were chatting with everyone in the general vicinity and taking pictures at the same time. Eventually I made my way over to the Billy Zane look-a-like and introduced myself. I found out that he was just in town for the weekend from Toronto and internally I was like "thank you Jesus" because now we had more to talk about besides just general pleasantries and whatnot. He actually didn't believe I was Canadian for the longest time...I had to prove it to him by telling him the hospital that I was delivered in and a whole bunch of other useless trivia before he actually believed me. Apparently people have used that line on him before (pretending to be Canadian) LOL! Who thought that could be a pick up line....eh?
Anyways...turns out that his name is Tommy and he is a 28 year old flight attendant for Air Canada. He is also a personal trainer on the side.......Mile High Club....sign a brotha up!!!!! LOLOLOLOL j/k j/k j/k.......
We talked for a good while on a whole range of topics from coming out, relationships, travel, what's next in his life (he wants to go back to school to become a teacher...awwww) etc, etc. All and all he was surprisingly pleasant and easy to talk to. And to think...I was so afraid to go up and talk to him. It just underscores the point that sometimes it seems like you can work your self up so much over approaching a good looking guy because you feel that if they look that good then that must mean that they are assholes. Clearly that is the case for some...but thankfully not all. (In this case...he probably was just really friendly because he was Canadian....you know how we are...wink!!)
Eventually I met his two friends that he came to NYC with. One was from Newfoundland and the other one is his roommate in Toronto. They were both older guys (in their 40's) and really cool. I eventually found out that it was the guy from Newfoundland's birthday and that is why they all came to NYC to celebrate. That and the fact that they had tickets to see Kathy Griffin at Madison Square Garden on Sunday. All and all they were all really pleasant and fun to talk to. It got kinda weird when Tommy's roommate tried to kick some game in my ear. He asked me what I did for a living and I told him that I am a grad student and I work in retail part time. Then when it came time for me to ask him the obligatory follow-up question he informed me that he was a policy writer for the Bank of Nova Scotia and apparently he is a really big deal.
LOL!
Tommy's Roommate: Yea, I write all the policies for the bank.
Me: Oh yea? Sounds like you are kinda a big shot.
Tommy's Roommate: Yea...well....I make $500,000 a year before bonuses so I'm not that rich. {wink}
Me: LOL...you're a trip
Tommy's Roommate: Yea...and I don't have any expenses...so I just travel alot and buy a bunch of shit that I don't need.
Me: Oh cool...sounds like the life man.
Tommy's Roommate: Yea...for some reason alot people like to refer to me as a sugar daddy...I don't like that.
Me: Oh no? So then what are you?
Tommy's Roommate: Well I am no ones daddy...because I'm not that old. (he is 41 btw)
Me: Naaa your not, your not thatold
Tommy: HAHA...he tried you!
Tommy's Roommate: LOL...whatever its cool...I might not be a daddy but I am definitely sweet!
Me: Ohhh rly now?
Tommy: Oh brother....you are so corny.....{cracks up}
Tommy's Roommate: Well, I'm sweet because I like to spoil my men {smirks}
Me: {kneels over in laughter} OMG...you cannot be serious right now.
Tommy's Roommate: K, you said you like to travel...if I said I would take you wherever...where would you want to go?
Me: HAHAHAHA...OMG you really should stop..you're too much
Tommy's Roommate: HAHA...you don't like my pick up lines?
Me: HAHA...OMG you're a comedian...you're making my night....keep on talking
Tommy's Roommate: But you never answered my question
Me: About what?
Tommy's Roommate: Where would you want to go on vacation?
Me: LOL....playa, I've already been around the world and honestly....I've already got a sugar daddy...and he is my father....I doubt that there is anything that you could buy me that he hasn't already or couldn't do so in the future....LOL!
Tommy: {grabs his chest in laughter}
Tommy's Roommate: LOL...your loss! {rolls eyes and laughs}
LMFAO...so that exchange was pretty hilarious. Realize that he was totally not being serious the entire time...he is a pretty sarcastic guy and he was playing around. You could see it in his face because he could not keep it straight every time he dropped those lines on me. Definitely a funny guy that wins at life!
Anyways...I turned my attention back towards my left where the rest of the crew was. Jay and Mike were getting "friendly" and D was taking pictures etc etc. Then I worked back into the situation eventually and then it ended up being a human Oreo sandwich with Mike in the middle of me and Jay.
LMAO!
Basically, fun times were popping off. I think I gave him a hickey in there somewhere, Jay was nibbling on his ear on the other side of his head and his shirt was pretty much not where it was supposed to be most of the time. Ridiculous!
Eventually Tommy's Roommate said something to the effect of "OMG...thats so hot...I'd totally rent that video" and we all started LOL'ing hardcore. Then he was like.."dudes if you don't take him home and have a three-way I am gonna be so fucking pissed at you!" Then he goes to Mike...."how would you like to get double penetrated tonight?"
LMFAO....I was DYING laughing!
So then Mike turns at Jay and I and was like..."so how big are you guys?"
And I threw my hand over Jay's shoulder jokingly and was like......"Ummmmm we are black..HELLOOOOOOO!"
And he is like...."sooo I've been with black men who weren't that big...so what?!?!"
*dead*
So that playful banter went on and on basically all night. Mike kept on telling me and Jay how hot we were..etc etc etc. We exchanged numbers later in the night and he made us promise to keep in touch with him. LOL! Now mind you....I would seriously never consider doing a three-way, as I think it is way to complicated and I've never been one for multi-tasking. LOL! But it was hilarious none the less that this lil' (in height but not build) Italian boy from Queens was ready and willing to take us both on at the same time.
I swear....only at G!
P.S. Some guy attempted to play "hide the finger" with Jay's asshole earlier in the night but ima let him tell you that one b/c I didn't see it.
LMFAO...again, only at G!
Your Horoscope This Week: December 22 To 28
47 minutes ago
8 comments:
I had to double check if I was reading the correct blog, because I don't know who the fuck this is....LMAO!!!!
No kidding... WOW!!!
Why did anything like this happen when I was there?
Thats it I am coming back ASAP!!!
WOW!!!
you definitely left some stuff out buddy lol. I woke up the next morning wondering if it was reality....or just reality tv.
As for the finger, emphasis on ATTEMPTED. DID NOT HAPPEN PPL!
That was not funny...not funny at all. lol
god that was hot. you should totally hook up with mike he sounds tre hot.
O_O
OMG... I never laughed so hard at my desk before. I even spitted out the apple I was eating. At least it sounds like you had a great night. Oh and I would have done the same thing you did with the old guy that bought the drinks. You must look and acknowledge it.. but you don't have to talk to him.
Hey -- just stumbled on your blog --LOVE the G story. You are right... ONLY at G would something like that happen. Look forward to reading more...
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