LOL's in the Fitting Room.....

So I dunno if I have discussed this yet but I really, REALLY hate working the women's department of our store...ESPECIALLY THE FITTING ROOMS.

Those bitches drive me crazy.....

You see, I love working the mens department because I can actually KNOW mens clothes. I am actually able to recommend stuff comfortably and confidently. With women...it's 10x more difficult. What the fuck is a camisole? And why do they always want to ask you silly questions like, "does this look sexy on me" or my favorite......"do I look fat in this?"

Homegirl.....if you are wearing a size 12 then you are invariably fat. The question you SHOULD be asking yourself is...."does this (insert article of clothing) complement my figure." I'm sorry if this sounds harsh....but I am so tired of these women putting me in uncomfortable positions by asking questions that they already know the answer to...

I refuse to lie to them....but then again, I am not there to be a bitchy asshole and make you cry when you realize you can't shoehorn your ass into that dress. So now, my default answer to all those kind of questions is "do you feel comfortable in it".

I mean at the end of the day.....that is all that really matters right? If you feel comfortable in a size 12 PENCIL SKIRT (I hope the incongruity of those two things is not lost on anyone) by all means go ahead. It's your world....conquer that bitch.

This is precisely why I like working in the mens department, you will never hear a guy come outta the fitting room asking you...."excuse me sir...do I look fat in these slacks." This EVEN applies to even the most flamboyant of men like Carson Kressley. You're just not gonna see it. For the most part (and I recognize this is generalization...so don't chew me out for it), a man is going into a store with a a predetermined idea of what he needs and a pretty solid sense of what looks good on him/what he prefers.

When I was ginormous, there were certain areas of a store that I just dared not venture. Why is this concept so foreign to so many women? Why are you asking me how come we cut our sizes so small when your homegirl is sitting right there begging you to get the size up. Are you serious? Why are u making a scene and claiming that (insert brand name) is on a personal vendetta against you and all of your other big girlfriends? Why.......after trying every conceivable position to wedge your big ol' behind into that skirt...are you now claiming that "you are just bloated" and that is why it will not zip up.......

Anyways, I'm done with work for the weekend pretty much...so I don't wanna think about it anymore!

In other news.....TROYSTOPHER IS COMING INTO TOWN!!!

Fun times, fun times will be had!

Also, I start school next week....and I am surprisingly looking forward to it. Hope you guys have a great weekend!