Ok, I'm Back....Sorta

So, I've been a pretty shitty blogger as of late. I just had a bunch of things I had to take care of with school and life after I got back from Spring Break. I did not have a chance to sit down, catch my breath and blog....obviously you guys will forgive me. HAHA!

Anywho, as for my LA recap that I said was coming.....I kinda lied.

LOL!

Um, there really isn't much to say. I met all the bloggers and they are all pretty much lived up to expectations. We went out pretty much every night....drank, socialized and had a great time. As for getting jiggy wit it, I actually didn't meet anyone while I was out there. I suppose that is kinda a bummer....but in reality I wasn't even really trying to, I had a good enough time hanging out with the boys!

As for school....blah!

HAHA!

It is just a lot flying at me at once.....nothing I can't handle, but it is irritating none the less. I think that you guys are definitely gonna be seeing a lot less of me around here for a while. Not to fret, if something monumental happens in my life (extremely doubtful) I will make sure to let you guys know what is going down!

As for work.....stories, stories, stories!

My new store manager (who honestly attempts to channel Karl Lagerfeld's look and personality in the store) has hired a brand new crop of retail whores to man the racks. I like all but one of them (we will get to that silly bitch later), but lets start on the one that I am kinda crushing on at the moment.

So this guy.....it is one of the guys who just kinda creep up on you. Like....you notice them at first but you really don't 'notice' them. Ya know what I'm talking about? It is kinda like that scruffy kid that everyone had in the back of their class who you probably wouldn't take a second look at if you passed him on the street but by virtue of seeing him almost every day, you start to realize that his oversized shirt is hiding a pretty banging body and that 'I don't care' haircut is obscuring a totally cute face......

Anywho...that is basically this kid (minus the oversized clothes and scruffy haircut....we have a dress code LOL!)

His name is _________ (you like that Kelly?) and he is from New Jersey. He is Asian (Korean I believe) and he has a really nice smile and a flawless complexion. He's over 6 feet tall...perhaps 6'1-6'2ish and to top it off, he looks like he has a ridiculously nice body. _________ used to work at Abercrombie before he started at our store 3 weeks ago....so if there is any question as to whether or not this kat is attractive you can kinda leave it at the door because YOU KNOW that Abercrombie does NOT hire ugly people.

LMFAO!

Anyways, he is a really sweet and affable guy and it is great to work the floor with him because he is always laughing/smiling. So now you must be asking yourself "omg K, what the fuck is the problem...go for it!"

Welllllll here's the thing.........98% sure that he is straight.

LOL!

I know, I know...here we go again. K runs across some guy, gets interested....only to find out that he is straight and totally unavailable. UGH! Is this not the story of my life folks? Whatever....the jury is still out on him. I cannot be absolutely sure that he doesn't play for our team but to be honest...he does not set off my gaydar one bit.

Anyways, lets get to this new bitch that I brought up earlier. We will refer to her now and forever as 'Lucy Booo' because she looks like Lucy Liu and I cannot stand her...hence the 'Boooo'. (you know I'm hella clever...don't even front LOL!)


Anywho, this lil' girl really must really want to catch an elbow to her jaw because she has been tryin' me since she got here...the snide bitch.

I already can see that she is gonna be one of those dumbass co-workers who just live to gossip and drum up shit, here's one example of how I know....

Last week we were both in men's and it was kinda dead so we were chatting. The conversation is as follows....

Lucy Boo: Repeat what you just said.
Me: (Repeated some random fact about the store)
Lucy Boo: Your voice sounds normal to me (kinda said to herself and not directed to me)
Me: Come again?
Lucy Boo: Ohh.......Well, Nancy (not her real name) said that you sound like the typical New York fa....I mean gay person. I don't see what she is talking about tho....you sound straight.....like your voice sounds like a straight guy's. Hehe!
Me: Ummmm what?
Lucy Boo: (nervous laugh) Ummmm, it is nothing...forget I said anything.
Me: Do you realize how dumb your last comments sounded? What does a typical New York fag...since that was the word you were gonna use and conveniently stopped...sound like? Even better, what does a typical gay person sound like? Not everyone fits into these cookie cutter stereotypes that you have made up...
Lucy Boo: Haha...I'm sorry. (throws hands up in mock horror) geeze...you are so sensitive..it isn't a big deal.
Me: Why are you even participating in such a conversation with Nancy? You've been here for like what...a week? Don't you know how this makes you look?
Lucy Boo: Wow....I can see that I'm not gonna be able to joke around with you.
Me: What part of your previous comment was funny?
Lucy Boo: Forget I said anything. I was actually trying to give you a complement....too bad you can't see that.
Me: You just told me that I do not sound like a typical fag....and I should take this as a complement how exactly?
Lucy Boo: Well yea....you sound normal....like a normal guy. You should be happy with that. I wouldn't have known you were gay if others handn't told me.
Me: Ummm you've been asking around?
Lucy Boo: Yea...I like to know who I am working with.
Me: HAHA...see now THAT IS FUNNY! How is that even on the top of things to know about your co-workers?
Lucy Boo: Well don't you want to know more about the people who your working with?
Me: Ummm ya....but who their are sleeping with is not THE FIRST THING I WANNA KNOW
Lucy Boo: HAHA...well whatever I like to be in the know...not gonna lie.
Me: You like to gossip is more like it.
Lucy Boo: It's all one in the same...you know how it is...don't even pretend not to participate in it. (rolls eyes)
Me: I'm gonna go check the fitting rooms.....go talk to that customer or something.
Lucy Boo: Catty...
Me: (Gives her "The Face")

I want you guys to know that every word that comes out of this heffa's mouth is dripping with condescension. Like, I think she honestly believes that she is the hottest and most fabulous thing walking the planet. She is absolutely incapable of talking to anyone (EVEN CUSTOMERS) in a non-patronizing manner. Moreover, it is clear by the previous conversation (and other things that I have overhead her say) that she is gonna be a major, MAJOR gossiper. I know that many of you might be thinking that I may have misplaced my anger by not focusing it on "Nancy" but in reality we already know each other and I already know she is a bitch so her comments to Lucy don't really shock or bother me. We have an understanding and I know that she is gonna talk shit so it is whatever.

Lucy Boo however really shouldn't be so stupid as to drum up shit, especially as a newcomer to the store. If someone told you something like that would you go back to the person that they were criticizing and tell them what they said? Like, could this bitch be anymore dumb? And on top of it she tries to justify the comments. Ugh, she really better not catch me on the wrong day because I might have to tell her to come meet me out back.....

Let's take a moment to hold hands and have a prayer circle for me......


"Dear Lord...please keep K calm and keep Lucy Boo's mouth shut so he isn't forced to retaliate, bust her lip up, and subsequently get arrested...in your holy name we pray....AMEN"


Whew.....

Ok, in other news, yesterday I hung out with Jay and we went to see the movie Shelter. It was a good movie and I really enjoyed it. It was well acted for the most part and the production value was pretty high for an independent movie. I would recommend it...probably when it comes out on Netflix though as it isn't one of those movies that is a MUST SEE in the actual theater.



I will not ruin it but there are a couple of funny one-liners in this movie that I am totally adding to my repertoire. Overall it was a good lil' flick...with tons of eye candy. You'll like it I'm sure!

We went out for dinner and drinks afterwards in Chelsea and had a pretty fun night. I met...I shit you not....gay German twins in Barracuda. I dunno what is up with me, Germans and Barracuda...but if you remember back to December....that was definitely the place I met German Boy for the first time. Don't worry, nothing scandalous went down, although they were both really cute (the younger one more so....even know they were identical).

They are on vacation with their other friend (who Jay chatted up most of the time). They were really pleasant and sweet and it was nice getting to chat with them that evening.

I know some of you are gonna be upset because I didn't convert the whole 'Twin Fantasy' thing into reality...but you know K has got to keep it classy! Oh wells.....they will be here until Thursday night....so anyone in the NYC area who wants to tap those asses...you better get a move on STAT!

Night Night fellas!