Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I Want Everyone's Opinion....

Ok I am warning everyone from now, this is going to be a really inane post. (as if 98% of my blog isn't already...LOL)

Anywho, I would like everyone's opinion....

So I am in the locker room in the gym tonight...minding my own business and putting on my clothes. I turned around as I was putting my other arm into my hoodie and I glanced over at this guy getting undressed at the bench across from me.

Now mind you, I've seen this guy around before in the gym.....mid thirties, white, 5'9ish, amazing arms, so-so face. All and all I would give him a 7 out of 10 in the looks department. (although his arms and shoulders definitely deserve a 9 b/c they are really extraordinary...esp for a guy his size)

So I was collecting my water bottle and my iPod off the bench as he was dropping his gym shorts (no jokes please...this was absolutely unintended) and O--M--G!!!!!!



A fucking tripod guys.....this guy had to be packing like AT LEAST 7in......

SOFT!!!

How this man walks without tripping over his penis is absolutely beyond me....real talk!

Anyways, so I got all my stuff together with the quickness as not to stop and gawk (Momma K always taught me not to stare) but as I was turning the corner he looked up and smiled at me. I don't think it was suggestive at all...it was kinda one of those half-smiles that you give as a courtesy to someone as you walk past them on the street. (at least in the South...NYC is a whole 'nother story)

You guys know what I'm talking about....it is kinda somewhere between a real smile and a grimace...no teeth...just a slight upturn of the corners of the mouth with the smile never quite reaching the eyes. So obviously I smiled back in the same fashion, thought nothing of it and kept on moving towards the door.

However, me being the super curious K.....you know I just couldn't help but to turn around one more time as I was going through the hallway. LOL!

When I did, I was greeted with his eyes clearly looking at my back. LOL! When I turned around he quickly picked up his stuff and turned around to stuff his clothes in the locker. When he did this, I was absolutely FLABBERGASTED to find a fuckin' tribal TRAMP STAMP right above his asscrack!

A Tramp Stamp?

On a MAN?

REALLY?

So here comes the question I want someone to answer for me.....

Does a man with a Tramp Stamp automatically = Gay?

Orrrrrrrr am I just being really ridiculous?

Now just to preempt those who might say, "but K, the only thing that really makes anyone gay is having an attraction to the same sex", yes I know this but we've (for better or worse) been trained to pick up on certain cues to clue us in on those who might be playing on our team. I just want someone to tell me whether or not I am totally off base for thinking that no straight man would EVER have a Tramp Stamp.

Please enlighten me.

8 comments:

Matt in Argyle said...

Wow, K used the word penis.

Not shlong, private member, little general, torpedo tube, johnson, wood, 100%all beef, baloney pony, rod, El Presidente, Internal spinal massager, schlongmaster 2000, twig'n'berries, cock, Frankfurt, or even thingy.

Seriously though, I'd say there is a better chance than not that he is gay. Although I have seen straight guys with those before too.

Yeah I totally just used your post as an excuse to write a whole bunch of euphemisms for penis. Thanks SpecialK.

Creative Thinker said...

Probably gay - Let's face it -- he is branded PLUS he was eyeing you as you were leaving. Next time you see him - smile and hold the eye contact. If he holds it back for any length of time - you got your proof. Then, the only thing you have to decide is how to break the ice from there. Best of luck...

Troystopher said...

100% Gay... you need to get on that... it seems like he might have an interest in you... I bet he was checking your fine ass out in the locker room when you were not looking. See what happens next time you see him.

Good Luck on your mid-terms and LA in 2 weeks!!!! :0)

JUSTIN said...

Sicne the majority of guys that frequent my gym are gay I could be biased, but I think it's safe to say that the tribal brand tramp stamp is more likely than not, exclusive providence of gay men. But I could be wrong...

dit said...

Hmm, straight or gay, I am sure it seemed like a good idea at the time. lol

Victor said...

Who cares about the stamp! Get back to the tripod.

dan said...

go for it, either way.

jay said...

Hmm, a tramp stamp is somewhat gay but straight guys do definitely have them as well.