More About Me

So, I guess I should talk a little more about myself. I mean, this is my blog right? So It should be totally self-centered and about me 24/7 365! LOL! Well I suppose if you are reading this then you probabaly want to know a little more about me....so I should just give you what you are looking for! Let’s see, I am 22 years old and just graduated from the Univerisity of Florida. It was definitely the best 4 years of my life, I made some amazing friends and had some pretty amazing experiences. Plus, I can say that I was here during the best athletic years of UF’s history! (up to this point I hope) For those who don’t know (and I can’t imagine how you wouldn’t) we are currently the National Champions in both football and basketball. In fact, UF made history in being the first school in NCAA division I-A history to hold both titles concurrently. (sorry to any Buckeyes out there reading this) Needless to say to say, Gaineville has been awash in excitement for the past two years. Can you really blame us? Hahaha.

Anyways, ill stop boasting now......promise!

More about me.....well, I am an only child, which is partly the reason why I called Kelly from C.O.C. my twin in my blogroll. Being an only child in our situation I think brings with it 10x more problems. I have heard my parents talk from time to time about how excited they are to retire and have grandchildren that they get to spoil and it really just breaks my heart. Now before you guys says anything, I realize that being gay does not preclude someone from being a father. I mean clearly there is always adoption and other ways to get around it, but its so difficult and tedious. Then of course you will have to deal with the fact that your kid will probably get teased and harrased in school because he has “two daddies” (thats if you are lucky enough to find some one who is totally committed to you, your relationship, and being a father). I mean, I firmly beleive that a child in any loving household is better off than one being shuffled through the system, but in the same breath you have to take into account how complicated that child’d life is going to be growning up with gay parents.

I dont know......some of you might be wondering why on earth a 22 year old guy is worried about something so serious as hopefully being a father someday. Haha, well you are not the only one! At this stage in my life I should just be focused on having fun and experiencing everything that youth has to offer. However, I know that eventually I want to settle down and have a family. This is probably one of, if not the hardest things I have had to come to grips with. The fact that I am not going having that perfect family with a wife and 2. however many kids has been a hard pill to swallow. Even more difficult is the nagging feeling that when I do come out, I am totally going to let my parents down. I mean, my entire life I have tried so hard to make them happy. They are such great people and they have given me every tool and opportunity to be successful in life. I just don't want them to end up feeling as though it was all in vain. I mean, how do you look your father in the face and tell him that this only son is gay? How do you tell your mother that there is a chance that she will never have that grandson or granddaughter that she always wanted to spoil? It's really all so depressing I don't want talk about it anymore............