Mr Big, Why Are You So Fly?

So yesterday I headed to the NY Public Library in Midtown to do some studying for my midterm yesterday and I see this HUGE crowd outside. So I'm like....what on earth is going on?!?!

As I cut thru the throngs of ppl I noticed that they were filming a scene for the Sex And The City movie. I didn't see SJP because apparently they were just filming the scene with Chris Noth. Anyways....I got some pics. I have to say, Mr. Big is really quite handsome in person, although it is hard for any man to look bad in a suit....there is just something about them....I dunno.

Enjoy....and Happy Halloween!

Discombobulated Post

Hey guys...hope everyone had a pleasant weekend. I have a bunch of things I want to throw out there that I have been meaning to talk about but just haven't had the time. Also, it is midterms week and my birthday week all rolled up into one (yay)..so I am gonna be super busy and kinda out of the loop, so I apologize in advance if I don't keep up with my blogging until the weekend.

Ok things to review.....

1). I just got back from memorial services for my Grams. It was a very beautiful service....we definitely gave her an amazing sendoff. It was really touching to see all the people who showed up, it was a testament to what a beloved woman she was not only to her family but also to her community. We didn't even have space for everyone in the church.....people were spilling out into the parking lot and the street...and it was drizzling 1/2 the time. Amazing. It was also a family reunion of sorts because I got a chance to see a couple of uncles and cousins that I haven't been in contact with since the early 90's. It is unfortunate that it took such a sad occasion to bring everyone together but I am still thankful that I got the chance to reconnect with fam and pay tribute to my Grams.

2). A lil while back after my "open secret" post I said that something had happened to me the previous week that was kinda big that I wanted to blog about. Well you remember my hot boss don't cha? Funny thing about that.......he is no longer my boss....seeing as tho I don't work at that company anymore LOL! Now, I would like to think that by some crazy strike of fate he found my blog, realized that I was talking about him, and decided that a office romance was a no-no so he let me go out of self-perservation.

No, no, no....it is much less juicy than that.

Because of my school schedule and the fact that they hired too many people to work later in the week, he had to let me go. If I was able to work shifts in the beginning of the week then I would have probably been able to stay on but they really didn't have space for me....and since I was the last person hired.....well....that means that I was the first person fired! HaHa!

I was upset for all of 20 minutes I think. I mean, no one wants to get let go from a job (and I have never been before) but whatever....it wasn't like I was gonna go hungry or sumthin....or have insurmountable bills to pay.....whatever. At first I was seriously considering dipping into my trust and saying 'fuck it' to working for a while, but seeing as tho that money was set aside for my education it would be really irresponsible to use it for non-discretionary purposes. And knowing me....I would have probably ran off to SoHo to buy a whole bunch of shit that I don't need. LOL! Besides, I am pretty sure I would have to have both of my parents sign off on it anyways....and there is just no way they would do such a thing.

With that being said, I got a new job on the spot the VERY NEXT DAY! {everyone claps...haha} Na, it isn't really that big of a deal, however I believe that I am gonna enjoy this job much more than my previous one. Why you ask? Because as Pete always says......"retail is the #1 gay profession". LMAO!

Yes, I got a job working at a semi-upscale clothing store in SoHo. I am not gonna give you the name because obviously I have to protect my anonymity (and I don't want stalkers...hehe). But, yea, I start later this week and I am pretty excited. I love the clothes there and all the people I've talked to who work there are extremely friendly. I think it is gonna be a really good time. I did take a slight pay cut to work there....but I have the potential to make more during the holiday season since corporate is throwing around the idea of paying us 4% commission on everything we sell. Seeing as tho there is nothing in the store under $50 (that I've seen) I have the potential to make some change.

Ohhhhhh, did I forget to mention that I am positive about 80% of the guys who work there are gay. Looks like Pete was right! It should prove to be a fun time.

On to more excitement from last week.....

3). Last Tuesday I went bar hopping with a guy who I met online. We have been talking on the phone and messaging each other since early Oct. trying to set up a time to meet in person. Anyways, we met up at The Ritz in Hell Kitchen and he is pretty much everything he said he was/I thought he was. He is a supper-chill and well put together guy, he definitely has the potential to be a great friend here in the city. He is 28 and totally out...but you would have no idea that he was gay unless he told you.....just a normal, non-pretentious guy. Anyways, he showed me around Hell's Kitchen and we hit up some of the bars (Vlada, Posh..etc) and we got soooooooo trashed. I should have known better seeing as tho the Mojito's at Posh where only $2.....we all know what happens when K gets his hands on his favorite drink...HAHA!

I also saw my first drag show. CRAZY CRAZY! The guy (actually let's call him Tall Guy since he is a fucking giant) keep on talking over my shoulder saying things like "omg you should see your face.....you are so mesmerized!" and "I've never seen someone pay so much attn to a drag show!" HAHA! In reality, I was kinda mesmerized because I had never seen something like that in person. It was so crazy and over the top....and I'm not gonna lie, she made me kinda uncomfortable a couple of times...but I wouldn't admit it!

Anyways, the clock was ticking and we ended up getting some food at a diner around 3ish (super late of a weeknight...plus he had work in the morning). We were chowing down drunkenly...just talking about life in the city....gay drama etc etc etc.....just basically enjoying each others company. I eventually realized at the end of the meal that i had left my card at Vlada.....(LOL, drunk K....shame on you) so we had to make the trek about 10 blocks back uptown in the rain to get it. Surprisingly is wasn't that uncomfortable because I was kinda trashed and with good company....so I don't even think I noticed that I was soaked.

After I got my card I thanks Tall Guy for taking me out and showing me around his neighborhood and we chatted some more. He refused to let me go all the way home tho because he said I was too trashed and plus it was really late....so we went back to his place.

No.....before your mind starts racing...and you ask for juicy details...I did not have sex with him, however we did sleep together (as in actually sleep...HAHA). I will also tell you that he is an amazing kisser.....needless to say I enjoyed my first night sharing a bed w/ another guy. HAHA! I doubt it is gonna go any further than us being just good buddies...and I am ok with that. I am just happy that I am finally getting out there, meeting people and ultimately getting more comfortable with myself. Definitely making progress I think!

Hope everyone has a great week....I have to go study for my exams....and make some b-day arrangements for Friday.

(My god I can't believe that I will be 23 in less than a week...eeeeckk!)

I'm So Ashamed Right Now

Sigh.......


So I caved in last night and I downloaded the ho's new CD out of total curiosity........

It's really good, and I hate myself for saying so.

I don't even like this broad! The only song that I liked from her previously was Toxic but honestly.....this CD is filled with really hot songs. I mean they aren't deep....and the bitch still can't sing....but they are fun and annoyingly catchy. I love 'Freakshow' and 'Break The Ice' and of course the gay club anthem at the moment.....'Gimme More'.

Damn you Miss Spears!!!




(I'm still not buying it tho....fuck that, and that cover artwork is atrocious....someone at Jive should be fired!)

Cruising 101

Ok, so taking everything into consideration......i've decided that I am going to be flattered. I mean, it isn't everyday that you get fucking cruised right? AND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT TOO! Lets discuss how it went down, shall we?

So I decided to go to Uniqlo yesterday afternoon because I was bored and I didn't want to spend the entire afternoon in the library since I knew that I would basically be there all night. This was a good decision because I bought this really cool hoodie for $39 that looks amazing on me.

So after that I decided I had to go back to my place to drop off my goodies. If anyone is familiar with the location of this store in SoHo...you will note that it is right next to the R/W line on the corner of Prince and Broadway. Anyways, I was totally not paying attention to what I was doing and I accidentally went into the Uptown entrance when I should have hopped onto the Brooklyn-bound train. But no matter....because clearly this was fate HAHAHA!

So I walk thru the turnstyle and realize that I am on the wrong platform. I contemplated for a minute whether or not I should switch trains but I just decided that I would do it at the next stop. So I'm leisurely strolling down the platform, looking down at the floor when all of a sudden this amazing pair of legs comes into my periphery.......

One of the simple joys of coming out to yourself is allowing yourself to actually look at guys. Previously, I would have seen that...locked it away in the corners of my mind and kept it moving. However, I decided to follow those massive calves and see where they lead.....LOL! So im looking up, and up, and up and finally I meet his gaze. I quickly looked away because by the expression on his face, clearly he had realized that I had been checking him out. He was about my height (5'10), mid to late 30's and he really (AND I MEAN REALLY) looked a lot like Anderson Cooper.......REALLY.



He was wearing these yellow and blue Madras pants and a blue muscle shirt that showed off his absolutely massive arms and pecs. We kept on exchanging furtive glances...I would pretend to look for the train over in his direction while sneaking a peek and he would glance at the people behind me and then check me out (I have AMAZING peripheral vision....i'm a fucking OWL!)
At some point in time, I totally started to get sloppy and I would keep on 'almost' getting caught.

Bad K bad, bad K!!!

Inevitably, when the train was pulling up into the station, I looked at him for too long and he locked eyes with me and gave me one of these 'what's up head noddy things.'

SAYYYYYYY WHHHHAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!

So now I'm thinking to myself, "K, did he really realize that you were checking him out and he is acknowledging it, or am I just totally projecting right now?" Well, I would get my answer soon enough when I got into the train.

So I was standing on the platform right behind the yellow line and he was about 8 feet behind me over my left shoulder. When the train came to a stop, I was situated between two cars (hate when that happens). So now I'm like, "which way should you go K?!?!" I shift to my left thinking that since mystery guy is over there, he would probably go into that car, however a shitload of people came spilling out of that car and there was no way I was gonna fight them to get on. So I just went to my right and got into that train.

WELL LOOKY HERE.....WHATYA KNOW...Who do you think just happened to 'slip' into my car at the last moment? None other that mystery man.......and he took the seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!! (It gets really interesting now)

So basically my heart has started to beat kinda crazy. I can't believe this silver fox actually was brazen enough to follow me into this car annnndddd sit next to me! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? But wait.......

Dudes, you know when you sit down next to someone and you are getting settled into your seat and then your leg might 'just' happen to brush against the other person's but then you move it away really quickly because that would be an invasion of personal space..........

He never moved his leg people!

N-E-V-E-R!!!!

Not only did he not move his leg.....he was pushing it against mine....IN A CROWED TRAIN.....AT 2:30 ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON....IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK....BRAZEN!!!!

If you have read this far you probably are........
A). Laughing your ass off
B). In shock
C). Shaking your head
D). All of the above

I have to admit, my overriding emotion at this time (much to my surprise) was not shock but pure excitement. I could not BELIEVE that I was getting cruised. Who does this? How do you do this? I dunno cruising etiquette.....what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I was immediately reminded of this and I decided...what the heck....we are in the corner of the train and no one is paying attention....let's see if this is for real.

So I push back.....

He pushes back harder (with those massive legs)

So I push back more.....

He starts bouncing on his toes and rubbing his leg against mine

So I start bouncing on my toes as well.....

Can I just say that at this moment I am pretty sure that I have never been so excited in my entire life. It was so wrong and soooo many levels. I mean, I here I am fucking toe tapping in the middle of the R Train with a complete fucking stranger...LMAO! Dude, you woulda thought that we were Savion Glover and Gene Kelly up in that bitch......just tap tap tapping up a storm.

LMAO!

I can laugh about it now....but at the time I was way to excited to laugh.

Anywho, After we passed the 8th Street station, I remember that I was going the wrong way on this train and I needed to switch. I suppose I was caught up with other things. Ha! So I'm thinking to myself, 'K...you are totally getting cruised right now by a stranger (who just so happens to be totally smoking hot) what on earth are you gonna do?'

I mean we have yet to actually say anything to each other...it has just been a exchange of furtive glances, coy smiles/smirks and a toe tapping routine. LOL! Where is this gonna go? Well I decided that this was fun for the past 10 or 15 minutes but really....nothing was gonna happen....and I really didn't want anything to happen because I don't know this guy or where he has been...or anything for that matter. To top it off, I am totally shy and even though it is BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that he is interested...there is no way I would be able to find my voice to speak to him. And even if I did, what on earth would I say?

So as we are pulling into Union Square I decided that I was gonna get up and grab some Jamba Juice (all that exercise got me parched). So I look over at him for the first time since we sat down and I said 'excuse me' and I smiled just for effect. LOL, I am horrible! He smirked and looked down in his lap as I was getting up...............

DO I EVEN NEED TO TELL Y'ALL WHAT I SAW?!?!?!

Guys, it looked like he was smuggling a fucking Voss water bottle in his shorts.......

One word......GINORMOUS!

I am pretty sure that my eyes popped out of my head because when I looked back at his face as I was stepping over his legs to get out of the train....he was totally smirking at me. LOLOLOLOL! Bro, did you just pop a fucking boner on me? WHO KNEW I could have such an effect on someone....hilariousness, absolute hilariousness.

So anyways as I was walking out of the station I said to myself, "wouldn't it be rich if I looked back right now and he was behind me?" I mean, I didn't see him get off the train at all so chances are that he didn't...and really......a person can only be so brazen right?

W-R-O-N-G!!!

As I was walking up the staircase into Union Square (the entrance in front of Whole Foods) I look back and he is like 200 feet behind me, twirling his phone and trying to focus his attention on everything that is going around except me. So at this point, you'd think I would be scared for my life right? I mean, I've got a horned up guy kinda sorta following me around....any normal person would be totally freaked right now.

I started laughing......straight up, rolling on the floor laughter. I just couldn't believe it at all. At no point was I really scared or anything.....I mean it was like 3:00PM in the middle of Union Square....and I'm an ultra-intimidating looking black man....what is he gonna do to me? LMAO!

I then decided to go get my Jamba Juice and see what his next move would be. Part of me was thinking that I am really foolish to be playing this game....but honestly, this was the most excitement that I think that I have ever had...and I was having fun....fuck it!

When I was walking back, about to cross 14th street I saw him sitting on a ledge, lecherously leering at me. Dude, are you being serious with me right now? HAHA! It just keeps on getting better and better I swear to you. So I cross the street and pass him on the ledge. As I'm sipping on my Peach Pleasure I look over at him and give him one last smile. He gives me a combination head nod as he bites his bottom lip.....

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BUDDY....IN PUBLIC?!?!?!?! AT ME?!?!?!?

Clearly the most shameless and brazen man I have ever run across in my life.







I probably shoulda gotten his number shouldn't I?

Larry Craig Totally Taught Me My Toe-Tapping Technique!

Yes boys, you read the title of this post correctly. Your boy K....on October 23, 2007 just had his first cruising experience.



NOOOOO, Not THAT type of cruising silly....THE "OTHER" type of cruising!

Now before you flip out and say I am a dirty, filthy whore....realize that I didn't have sex with the guy. However, it doesn't make the story any less juicy!

I am still up in the air as to whether I am totally creeped out or absolutely flattered. Give me a couple hours to think about it. I have to go to class.....I will be back for all the juicy details.

CRAZYINESSS!

"Open Secret" Part II

Ok...so I left off by giving you the tail end of the "chat" between me and Delta Boy. When the girls came back in, I had to quickly excuse myself to the restroom because I was in such bad shape. It was a mixture of a whole bunch of emotions....on one hand I was kinda relieved because it is obvious that he knows and he is ok with it...but on the other hand I was really quite upset because it further solidified the fact that I have been wasting my time these past years trying to put up a facade that wasn't fooling anyone. I'm not gonna lie to you, it is definitely a double edged sword.

Anyways, while I was in the bathroom trying to collect myself...I was furiously texting all over the place because I couldn't get enough signal to place a call. I think I was in there for about 15 minutes....when I came out the towel guy gave me a massive side-eyed glance as if to say "what the fuck where you doing in there buddy" LOL...whatever...he was the least of my concerns at the moment and the awkwardness was just beginning........

When I got to the table, everyone was there...the girls,the club promoter (UCF girl's cousin), his girlfriend and other assorted friends. Delta Boy slid over to let me onto the couch and then came up to my ear and said.....I shit you not...........

"We are all tired of this place, "John" (the club promoter) has got a connect at this great GAY CLUB down the street...you are alright with that....right" (statement not a question btw)



So I was like (as chill as possible) "sure, why not...this place is clearing out anyways" (I am sure it was way past 2AM by this point). He smirked at me and said "you will like it there man....gay clubs always have the best music."

LMAO...like people go to a gay club for la musica!!! (LMAO I actually do realize that straight people often times patron gay establishments because the music is usually superior to that of regular clubs...but me being me....the music is the LAST thing on my mind when I head out to one of those places.)

Anywho, we all ordered our last rounds and started doing the drunk shuffle towards the door. We all filed into 4 cabs and drove over to Splash. This place is huge...and the go-go dancers are huge.....the bartenders are huge.....their packages are huge......their asses are huge.....am I making sense or just blabbering? It was total sensory overload and I must say...upon walking in I could tell that I liked the place 10x more than the previous club I went to a couple of weekends ago.

So we all walked towards the bar in the back to get some drinks. All the while UCF girl was tugging my hand as she lead us threw the crowd, LITERALLY SWATTING sweaty, shirtless guys out of the way. Seriously.....like imagine how you would swat flies...or an angry swarm of bees. The place was packed. Craziness I tell you! Guys were hooking up all over the place....grinding left and right....it was mad. All of a sudden I feel Delta Boy's hand on my shoulder and he goes "dude....it is fucking crazy in here....who knew?!?!"

Touche' Touche'....Who Knew Indeed!!! (lie)

Anyways.....we get to the bar and let me just take a moment to talk about this bartender. Had to be at least 6'3 and no less than 185 pounds of pure fucking grade A HOTNESS. Real Talk!

If only I had flash.......

He had the cutest baby face with dimples and jet black hair....and his body would honestly make even Brady Quinn jealous. I kid you not. And he had on these tiny 2xist boxer briefs....{trails offfffffff}

Ok, back to the story so we are all by the ordering drinks (I am just slyly checking out the bartender...LOL) and all of a sudden I realize that I really have to pee. So I excused myself and waded through all the hotties as made my way downstairs. It was pretty much the same deal down there as well but a little bit less frenetic. Anyways, I went into the bathroom to do my business (it is a HUGE bathroom by the way...reminded me of a super modern locker-room). After that I turned and went to the sink...not really paying attention to anything that was going on around me. As I was soaping up my hands I felt this tap on my shoulder....I looked up in the mirror and I saw this slightly twinkish redhead smiling behind me that I have never seen before.........

At this moment....my heart basically drops because I am thinking to myself, "fuck K....look what you've done...I bet you that this is kid is some friend of a friend and he recognized you and now he is gonna tell everyone how he saw you in a fucking gay club!!"

Paranoid right?

L-M-A-O turns out he was admiring my shoes and he wanted me to turn around and lift up my pants so he could see them better. I immediately chuckled to myself thinking about how absolutely ridiculous I was acting. So I shook of my hands quickly over the sink and turned around to show them to him. He complemented me on them and then asked where he could find em. I let him know about the Puma store in the Meatpacking District and then he started talking about how he has been down there a couple of times for clubs and stuff..but has never seen the store. I told him the store's approximate location (as best as I could remember) and he thanked me.

Kid: Thanks bro.........oh by the way, the name is Andre.

Me: {smiles nervously} Haha........my name is ______________, pleasure to meet you

Then he did the funniest thing....he sent out his right hand to shake mine and then quickly pulled it back and laughed. I stood there awkwardly perplexed for about a 1/2 second until I put two and two together and remembered that he was in the line to use the sink...LMAO! Sure enough.....

Andre: My bad...I just took a piss with this hand....hehehe

Me: HAHAHA....it's all good bro......here {send out left hand awkwardly}

Andre: {shakes it} Watch out for those babies {looks down} make sure no one steps on your feet.

Me: I'll be careful.....Thanks!

Looking back......should I have stayed longer to talk to him? Haha...I dunno...the whole night was so fucking awkward and I was totally out of my element. I hope I didn't miss an opportunity to strike up a real convo with (seemingly) cool guy. Ah well....what's done is done.

So.....at this time I am sure you guys are thinking that the night couldn't get any weirder..........right?

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!!

Im back upstairs trying to look for Delta Boy and the rest of our party.....and I can't see them from my vantage point. As I am walking Delta Boy's girlfriend grabs my arm and is like...."hey K...we are all over here!" So I allow myself to get dragged along by this little 5'2 girl to another side of the bar. ANDDDDDDD WHAT DO I SEE WHEN I GET OVER THERE?!?!!?!?!?!?

DELTA BOY, UCF GIRL'S COUSIN AND ALL THE OTHER GUYS IN OUR PARTY ARE OVER THERE IN THE CORNER......DANCING SHIRTLESS!

S--H--I--R--T--L--E--S--S !!!!!!!

My jaw dropped. Mind you.....all these guys are straight (at least 3 of them that I know for a fact) and most of them came with their girlfriends...but now they are all dancing shirtless while the girls are on the side, cat-calling and whistling at them. LMFAO! At one point Delta Boy was swinging his wife-beater around in the air like a helicopter.

Clearly I have entered the Twilight Zone..........

Delta Boy: Hey man...where did you run off too....

Me: {mouth still agape} Ummmmm I had to piss

Delta Boy: Dude, come on...why do you still have your jacket and shirt on......join in we are all doing it!

UCF Girl: Yeaaaa.....you must be hot, take that shit off THIS INSTANT!

Delta Boy's Girlfriend: {reaches for my zipper}

UCF Girl: {grabs jacket collar from the back and starts to pull down}

So now at this point I'm thinking that I am having an out of body experience of some sort. Let's review........

- My friend basically lets me know that he knows I'm gay and is super supportive of it.
- Gets the club promoter to bring us to a gay club.
- Dances shirtless along with all the other guys in our group.
- ATTEMPTS to get his girlfriend and homegirl to strip me.

Yes that is right......you read that right.....I said ATTEMPT!! There is NO WAY I was taking off my clothes! LOLOL! You must be crazy girl...trying to strip me!

Me: I'm not taking off my clothes...yall are mad!

Delta Boy: Dude...fuck that....how do you expect to get free drinks up in this place.....if you want a guy to buy you a drink, well......you've gotta strip!!!!


Speechless......one word......speechless. Dude, are you advocating me taking my clothes off so guys will buy me drinks? Damnnnnnn you clearly are cool with this whole "gay thing" aren't cha! My goodness...never in my life would I have EVER imagined all this. N-E-V-E-R!

So I ended up taking my jacket off but I kept my shirt on because there was just no way I was getting shirtless....NO! I still have a lot of body issues to work out and compounded with the fact that my friend is trying to get me 1/2 naked in a gay club so I can get picked up....no, it's just tooo much. Maybe sometime in the FAR DISTANT future I can get comfortable enough to do that....but I am really not there yet....sorry to say.

Anyways...we stayed at Splash until 4 (the latest i've been out in NYC) drinking and dancing and having a good time pretty much. Delta Boy's gf even dared him to go talk to a drag queen and he went over there and chatted her up. WTF?!!?! LOLOLOL! Everyone thought it was the most hilarious thing...and he really got a kick out of it. I've gotta say, I found it quiet amusing myself.

We all reconvened outside to go our separate ways for the evening. Most of the party had to go uptown so I had to leave them there. Before I left, Delta Boy took me to the side and was like......

Delta Boy: Did you have a good time?

Me: Yea man...it was definitely a fun and memorable night.

Delta Boy: Good, good....I heard from "John" that this club gets pretty crazy on the weekends.....now you know where it is...you should come back and check it out bro! {slaps me on the back}

And everyone in the blogosphere collectively goes: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Haha, that was nice of him to say. Again, I had to stop myself from getting too emotional. He is such a great fucking guy...I'm glad I have him as a friend. What a crazy Thursday night huh?



*There is another big thing that happened to me last week that has nothing to do with the story that I will blog about soon....but this story definitely takes precedence over this next one.....although it is still pretty major....at least for me*

**and no it has nothing to do with sex**

Sigh....Guess It Really Is An "Open Secret"

So yea....you know when I had that little"situation" with PR Boy last month and we basically came out to each other. And then afterwards he basically told me over the phone that I was being incredibly naive if I thought that my friends didn't already know........

{everyone nods their heads}

Well yea.......at the time I thought he was saying that to bolster his own argument.....but guess what......the kid is pretty much right, at least in this NEW instance. Please, pull up a chair and let me explain.

So, one of my really good friends came into town yesterday. We've have known each other since middle school (7th Grade to be exact). He is a really cool and chill guy and we have always been pretty close. He is one of those friends that you don't keep in everyday contact with....but when you meet up with them it is almost like no time has elapsed....if that makes any sense. He is definitely not someone who I chat with on a weekly (or even monthly) basis but when we do catch up, we just pick off right where we left off. Anyways, he works for Delta now....so I think I will refer to him as Delta Boy from now on.

Delta Boy and I went to H.S. together as well...but we ended up going to different universities (he went to UCF). Anyways, sometime during our sophomore year, Delta Boy got diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. He had to drop out of school and do the whole chemo treatment thing and eventually he went into remission (thank god). After that situation....as would be expected....I noticed a real change in him. He definitely seems to be much more spiritual now than he was before...along with many other things. (This backstory will become somewhat relevant soon...I promise)

So I met up with him, his friend from back home, his friend from UCF and his girlfriend (so adorable btw) in Times Square. We grabbed something to eat and watched the USF/Rutgers game at the ESPNzone. Can I just say....the food was pretty blah...but then again it is Times Square and I really should have known better than to eat in a tourist trap. However, we got a chance to watch USF get their asses handed to them (thank god...they were getting too big for their fucking britches) so that was all good.

After dinner we all headed down Hotel Chelsea for a private party that was being held by the cousin of the girl from UCF. I was a pretty small club...good music, great drinks and a late 20s/early 30s trendy type of crowd crowd (I felt slightly undressed...and that almost never happens)

Anyways, her cousin got us at table (apparently he is a big party promoter of some sort) and we started hitting back Cherry Bombs and a whole other long list of assorted drinks and whatnot. Needless to say....everyone got pretty sloppy (I surprisingly stayed buzzed and not drunk the entire night). There was a lot of drunken antics....and at one time, the stripper pole did get used by the girls. HAHAHA.....it was like the amateur, amateur version of Gimme More. LOL.....I've got pics to prove it!

Ok...im kinda stalling at this point.....how about we get to the point where Delta Boy totally drops a bomb on my head (and not a Cherry one either!) So the girls go out to catch some air and he pulls me aside to another booth to have a "chat". The transcript for your reading pleasure.......

Delta Boy: So what do you think of my girl?

Me: She is pretty amazing, I like her already and I've only just met her

Delta Boy: Yea?

Me: Yea bro....she is a real good fit for you...she is chill and not to prissy.....I know you don't like that shit.

Delta Boy {smiles} Yea man...she is such a good catch, she isn't really clingy either and she gives me my space when I need it

Me: That's so important.

Delta Boy: Yea, it really is...plus I think our personalities match really well.

Me: Yea you guys look like you have a lot of fun.

Delta Boy: I really want to do right by her man.....I don't want to turn out like my Dad.

Me: Dude, you will not....you are in a position where you know the fucked up things he did and you can learn from that and make sure you don't go down that road. Just because your pops was a womanizer doesn't mean that will automatically make you one too.

Delta Boy: You are right bro...but look at all these girls, the temptations are crazy....ya know what I mean?

Me: I feel you. (lie, I have no idea) You are just gonna have to do the right thing. If you love her you will just do right by her and that will be that. Can I tell you something?

Delta Boy: Sure....what up?

Me: When you went to go get drinks earlier your girl and I were talking and she was saying how you are the best thing that ever happened to her and she is more happy now with you than she has ever been in her entire life.

Delta Boy: You serious?!?!

Me: Real talk......she even went as far to say that she didn't ever want to do anything to disappoint you

Delta Boy: Dammmnnnnn

Me: You see....she is committed to you man, you've just got to do right and that's that.

Delta Boy: Guess I found a good one then huh?

Me: Yea you did

Delta Boy: So what about you man? {puts his hand over my shoulder and pulls me in}

Me: What do you mean

Delta Boy: Did you find that special one yet?

Me: {nervous laugh} Na man, I haven't...it'll happen soon enough tho.

Delta Boy: {pulls me in further and shakes me} Are you even looking?!?!?

Me: Honestly...not really....I'm hoping that it will just drop in my lap.

Delta Boy: {sighs loudly and shakes his head} How much longer are you gonna keep this up bro?

Aside #1: G-A-S-P........as soon as he said that I knew exactly where this conversation was going. I am pretty sure everyone else in the blogosphere pretty much can figure out the rest of this "chat".

Me: What do you mean?

Delta Boy: {moves to the edge of the seat, turns, and gives me one of these}

Me: What?!?! {getting extremely squeamish}

Delta Boy: I think you know what I mean, have you found that special "someone" yet?

Aside #2: He actually did that motion as he was saying someone...notice the gender neutrality in his statement.

Me: Na I haven't.....like I said......but then again, I haven't really been looking (1/2 lie) ya know? I dunno, I'm one of those people who believes it will just kinda find me somehow {trails off}

Delta Boy: {looks into my eyes for what seemed to be an ETERNITY, looks down....looks back up at me again....waits AGAIN for what seemed like an eternity then furiously shakes his head}

Aside #3: I hope you guys realize by now that he was giving me an opening to come out to him and I didn't take it. It is beyond obvious that he knows. He knows! I would also like to add that Delta Boy does not (and has never) run in the same clique as PR Boy. So there is no way that Delta Boy could have found out about me through my conversation with him. This lends credence to PR Boy's pronouncement earlier that pretty much all my close friends know about my "status". But wait, we haven't even gotten to the main thrust of the convo yet.

Delta Boy: {grabs me by my shoulder and pulls me close} K, you've really gotta do what makes you happy.

Me: Of course!

Delta Boy: You know what I mean bro?

Me: {looks down...but still shakes head}

Delta Boy: Look at me! Dude, take it from me.....you know what I've been through these past couple of years...life is too fucking short man.

Me: You're right, you're right.......

Delta Boy: You're saying that but I don't think you really believe it. Listen to me man....having cancer changed my outlook bro...life is too short to not do what doesn't make you happy...you've just got to do it and fuck whatever anyone else thinks.

Me: I agree, I totally agree.

Aside #4: This was said in an extremely flippantly manner I might add (dunno if consciously I meant for it to come out that way or not). A part of me I suppose was subconsciously trying to steer this conversation into a more, sorta general, non-serious, drunken philosophical type of chit chat when we both knew that he was referring SPECIFICALLY to my situation in the closet.

Delta Boy: I don't think you are really hearing me {turns directly in my face}. Bro, I know you're parents man...they are alot like mine. We come from old-school households.....I know I know....it's hard.........but you have to just do what makes you happy! Bro.....find that "someone" that makes you happy.

Me: Sighs....you are right.

Delta Boy: Of course I'm fucking right...I'm saying it dipshit! Dude, I can see it all over your face.....you aren't happy right now. You probably haven't been in a long time. Dude......the sooner you find that person, the sooner you will be able to start living you're life! Dude.....you positioned yourself in like the social capital of the world.....go out, make some connections and find that special person.

Aside #4: By this time im trying to focus on anything to stop me from balling. I mean, I really wanted to cry...and I am not the crying type of guy (hold over from my father I suppose) but it was really hard....I was looking at my shoes most of the time because I know that if I looked up at him it would have been all over. It's obvious that he knows...and he was gonna give me advice whether or not I decided to come out. He even made sure to keep on using gender neutral pronouns like "someone" and "special person" because I guess he figured (rightly so I suppose) that I was totally uncomfortable with this entire conversation.

Me: You speak the truth my man.

Delta Boy: Dude......whatever happens, you know your friends are gonna love you no matter what. You are such a great guy and a good friend...

Me: Thanks man

Delta Boy: You need to know that! You are to good of a person to be alone....get out there and fucking live your life! {slaps me on the back}

Me: Laughs


*I have some reading to do....so Part II will be coming up later......I haven't even begun to tell you what else happ that night/morning*