Cruising 101

Ok, so taking everything into consideration......i've decided that I am going to be flattered. I mean, it isn't everyday that you get fucking cruised right? AND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT TOO! Lets discuss how it went down, shall we?

So I decided to go to Uniqlo yesterday afternoon because I was bored and I didn't want to spend the entire afternoon in the library since I knew that I would basically be there all night. This was a good decision because I bought this really cool hoodie for $39 that looks amazing on me.

So after that I decided I had to go back to my place to drop off my goodies. If anyone is familiar with the location of this store in SoHo...you will note that it is right next to the R/W line on the corner of Prince and Broadway. Anyways, I was totally not paying attention to what I was doing and I accidentally went into the Uptown entrance when I should have hopped onto the Brooklyn-bound train. But no matter....because clearly this was fate HAHAHA!

So I walk thru the turnstyle and realize that I am on the wrong platform. I contemplated for a minute whether or not I should switch trains but I just decided that I would do it at the next stop. So I'm leisurely strolling down the platform, looking down at the floor when all of a sudden this amazing pair of legs comes into my periphery.......

One of the simple joys of coming out to yourself is allowing yourself to actually look at guys. Previously, I would have seen that...locked it away in the corners of my mind and kept it moving. However, I decided to follow those massive calves and see where they lead.....LOL! So im looking up, and up, and up and finally I meet his gaze. I quickly looked away because by the expression on his face, clearly he had realized that I had been checking him out. He was about my height (5'10), mid to late 30's and he really (AND I MEAN REALLY) looked a lot like Anderson Cooper.......REALLY.



He was wearing these yellow and blue Madras pants and a blue muscle shirt that showed off his absolutely massive arms and pecs. We kept on exchanging furtive glances...I would pretend to look for the train over in his direction while sneaking a peek and he would glance at the people behind me and then check me out (I have AMAZING peripheral vision....i'm a fucking OWL!)
At some point in time, I totally started to get sloppy and I would keep on 'almost' getting caught.

Bad K bad, bad K!!!

Inevitably, when the train was pulling up into the station, I looked at him for too long and he locked eyes with me and gave me one of these 'what's up head noddy things.'

SAYYYYYYY WHHHHAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!

So now I'm thinking to myself, "K, did he really realize that you were checking him out and he is acknowledging it, or am I just totally projecting right now?" Well, I would get my answer soon enough when I got into the train.

So I was standing on the platform right behind the yellow line and he was about 8 feet behind me over my left shoulder. When the train came to a stop, I was situated between two cars (hate when that happens). So now I'm like, "which way should you go K?!?!" I shift to my left thinking that since mystery guy is over there, he would probably go into that car, however a shitload of people came spilling out of that car and there was no way I was gonna fight them to get on. So I just went to my right and got into that train.

WELL LOOKY HERE.....WHATYA KNOW...Who do you think just happened to 'slip' into my car at the last moment? None other that mystery man.......and he took the seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!! (It gets really interesting now)

So basically my heart has started to beat kinda crazy. I can't believe this silver fox actually was brazen enough to follow me into this car annnndddd sit next to me! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? But wait.......

Dudes, you know when you sit down next to someone and you are getting settled into your seat and then your leg might 'just' happen to brush against the other person's but then you move it away really quickly because that would be an invasion of personal space..........

He never moved his leg people!

N-E-V-E-R!!!!

Not only did he not move his leg.....he was pushing it against mine....IN A CROWED TRAIN.....AT 2:30 ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON....IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK....BRAZEN!!!!

If you have read this far you probably are........
A). Laughing your ass off
B). In shock
C). Shaking your head
D). All of the above

I have to admit, my overriding emotion at this time (much to my surprise) was not shock but pure excitement. I could not BELIEVE that I was getting cruised. Who does this? How do you do this? I dunno cruising etiquette.....what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I was immediately reminded of this and I decided...what the heck....we are in the corner of the train and no one is paying attention....let's see if this is for real.

So I push back.....

He pushes back harder (with those massive legs)

So I push back more.....

He starts bouncing on his toes and rubbing his leg against mine

So I start bouncing on my toes as well.....

Can I just say that at this moment I am pretty sure that I have never been so excited in my entire life. It was so wrong and soooo many levels. I mean, I here I am fucking toe tapping in the middle of the R Train with a complete fucking stranger...LMAO! Dude, you woulda thought that we were Savion Glover and Gene Kelly up in that bitch......just tap tap tapping up a storm.

LMAO!

I can laugh about it now....but at the time I was way to excited to laugh.

Anywho, After we passed the 8th Street station, I remember that I was going the wrong way on this train and I needed to switch. I suppose I was caught up with other things. Ha! So I'm thinking to myself, 'K...you are totally getting cruised right now by a stranger (who just so happens to be totally smoking hot) what on earth are you gonna do?'

I mean we have yet to actually say anything to each other...it has just been a exchange of furtive glances, coy smiles/smirks and a toe tapping routine. LOL! Where is this gonna go? Well I decided that this was fun for the past 10 or 15 minutes but really....nothing was gonna happen....and I really didn't want anything to happen because I don't know this guy or where he has been...or anything for that matter. To top it off, I am totally shy and even though it is BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that he is interested...there is no way I would be able to find my voice to speak to him. And even if I did, what on earth would I say?

So as we are pulling into Union Square I decided that I was gonna get up and grab some Jamba Juice (all that exercise got me parched). So I look over at him for the first time since we sat down and I said 'excuse me' and I smiled just for effect. LOL, I am horrible! He smirked and looked down in his lap as I was getting up...............

DO I EVEN NEED TO TELL Y'ALL WHAT I SAW?!?!?!

Guys, it looked like he was smuggling a fucking Voss water bottle in his shorts.......

One word......GINORMOUS!

I am pretty sure that my eyes popped out of my head because when I looked back at his face as I was stepping over his legs to get out of the train....he was totally smirking at me. LOLOLOLOL! Bro, did you just pop a fucking boner on me? WHO KNEW I could have such an effect on someone....hilariousness, absolute hilariousness.

So anyways as I was walking out of the station I said to myself, "wouldn't it be rich if I looked back right now and he was behind me?" I mean, I didn't see him get off the train at all so chances are that he didn't...and really......a person can only be so brazen right?

W-R-O-N-G!!!

As I was walking up the staircase into Union Square (the entrance in front of Whole Foods) I look back and he is like 200 feet behind me, twirling his phone and trying to focus his attention on everything that is going around except me. So at this point, you'd think I would be scared for my life right? I mean, I've got a horned up guy kinda sorta following me around....any normal person would be totally freaked right now.

I started laughing......straight up, rolling on the floor laughter. I just couldn't believe it at all. At no point was I really scared or anything.....I mean it was like 3:00PM in the middle of Union Square....and I'm an ultra-intimidating looking black man....what is he gonna do to me? LMAO!

I then decided to go get my Jamba Juice and see what his next move would be. Part of me was thinking that I am really foolish to be playing this game....but honestly, this was the most excitement that I think that I have ever had...and I was having fun....fuck it!

When I was walking back, about to cross 14th street I saw him sitting on a ledge, lecherously leering at me. Dude, are you being serious with me right now? HAHA! It just keeps on getting better and better I swear to you. So I cross the street and pass him on the ledge. As I'm sipping on my Peach Pleasure I look over at him and give him one last smile. He gives me a combination head nod as he bites his bottom lip.....

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BUDDY....IN PUBLIC?!?!?!?! AT ME?!?!?!?

Clearly the most shameless and brazen man I have ever run across in my life.







I probably shoulda gotten his number shouldn't I?