"Open Secret" Part II

Ok...so I left off by giving you the tail end of the "chat" between me and Delta Boy. When the girls came back in, I had to quickly excuse myself to the restroom because I was in such bad shape. It was a mixture of a whole bunch of emotions....on one hand I was kinda relieved because it is obvious that he knows and he is ok with it...but on the other hand I was really quite upset because it further solidified the fact that I have been wasting my time these past years trying to put up a facade that wasn't fooling anyone. I'm not gonna lie to you, it is definitely a double edged sword.

Anyways, while I was in the bathroom trying to collect myself...I was furiously texting all over the place because I couldn't get enough signal to place a call. I think I was in there for about 15 minutes....when I came out the towel guy gave me a massive side-eyed glance as if to say "what the fuck where you doing in there buddy" LOL...whatever...he was the least of my concerns at the moment and the awkwardness was just beginning........

When I got to the table, everyone was there...the girls,the club promoter (UCF girl's cousin), his girlfriend and other assorted friends. Delta Boy slid over to let me onto the couch and then came up to my ear and said.....I shit you not...........

"We are all tired of this place, "John" (the club promoter) has got a connect at this great GAY CLUB down the street...you are alright with that....right" (statement not a question btw)



So I was like (as chill as possible) "sure, why not...this place is clearing out anyways" (I am sure it was way past 2AM by this point). He smirked at me and said "you will like it there man....gay clubs always have the best music."

LMAO...like people go to a gay club for la musica!!! (LMAO I actually do realize that straight people often times patron gay establishments because the music is usually superior to that of regular clubs...but me being me....the music is the LAST thing on my mind when I head out to one of those places.)

Anywho, we all ordered our last rounds and started doing the drunk shuffle towards the door. We all filed into 4 cabs and drove over to Splash. This place is huge...and the go-go dancers are huge.....the bartenders are huge.....their packages are huge......their asses are huge.....am I making sense or just blabbering? It was total sensory overload and I must say...upon walking in I could tell that I liked the place 10x more than the previous club I went to a couple of weekends ago.

So we all walked towards the bar in the back to get some drinks. All the while UCF girl was tugging my hand as she lead us threw the crowd, LITERALLY SWATTING sweaty, shirtless guys out of the way. Seriously.....like imagine how you would swat flies...or an angry swarm of bees. The place was packed. Craziness I tell you! Guys were hooking up all over the place....grinding left and right....it was mad. All of a sudden I feel Delta Boy's hand on my shoulder and he goes "dude....it is fucking crazy in here....who knew?!?!"

Touche' Touche'....Who Knew Indeed!!! (lie)

Anyways.....we get to the bar and let me just take a moment to talk about this bartender. Had to be at least 6'3 and no less than 185 pounds of pure fucking grade A HOTNESS. Real Talk!

If only I had flash.......

He had the cutest baby face with dimples and jet black hair....and his body would honestly make even Brady Quinn jealous. I kid you not. And he had on these tiny 2xist boxer briefs....{trails offfffffff}

Ok, back to the story so we are all by the ordering drinks (I am just slyly checking out the bartender...LOL) and all of a sudden I realize that I really have to pee. So I excused myself and waded through all the hotties as made my way downstairs. It was pretty much the same deal down there as well but a little bit less frenetic. Anyways, I went into the bathroom to do my business (it is a HUGE bathroom by the way...reminded me of a super modern locker-room). After that I turned and went to the sink...not really paying attention to anything that was going on around me. As I was soaping up my hands I felt this tap on my shoulder....I looked up in the mirror and I saw this slightly twinkish redhead smiling behind me that I have never seen before.........

At this moment....my heart basically drops because I am thinking to myself, "fuck K....look what you've done...I bet you that this is kid is some friend of a friend and he recognized you and now he is gonna tell everyone how he saw you in a fucking gay club!!"

Paranoid right?

L-M-A-O turns out he was admiring my shoes and he wanted me to turn around and lift up my pants so he could see them better. I immediately chuckled to myself thinking about how absolutely ridiculous I was acting. So I shook of my hands quickly over the sink and turned around to show them to him. He complemented me on them and then asked where he could find em. I let him know about the Puma store in the Meatpacking District and then he started talking about how he has been down there a couple of times for clubs and stuff..but has never seen the store. I told him the store's approximate location (as best as I could remember) and he thanked me.

Kid: Thanks bro.........oh by the way, the name is Andre.

Me: {smiles nervously} Haha........my name is ______________, pleasure to meet you

Then he did the funniest thing....he sent out his right hand to shake mine and then quickly pulled it back and laughed. I stood there awkwardly perplexed for about a 1/2 second until I put two and two together and remembered that he was in the line to use the sink...LMAO! Sure enough.....

Andre: My bad...I just took a piss with this hand....hehehe

Me: HAHAHA....it's all good bro......here {send out left hand awkwardly}

Andre: {shakes it} Watch out for those babies {looks down} make sure no one steps on your feet.

Me: I'll be careful.....Thanks!

Looking back......should I have stayed longer to talk to him? Haha...I dunno...the whole night was so fucking awkward and I was totally out of my element. I hope I didn't miss an opportunity to strike up a real convo with (seemingly) cool guy. Ah well....what's done is done.

So.....at this time I am sure you guys are thinking that the night couldn't get any weirder..........right?

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!!

Im back upstairs trying to look for Delta Boy and the rest of our party.....and I can't see them from my vantage point. As I am walking Delta Boy's girlfriend grabs my arm and is like...."hey K...we are all over here!" So I allow myself to get dragged along by this little 5'2 girl to another side of the bar. ANDDDDDDD WHAT DO I SEE WHEN I GET OVER THERE?!?!!?!?!?!?

DELTA BOY, UCF GIRL'S COUSIN AND ALL THE OTHER GUYS IN OUR PARTY ARE OVER THERE IN THE CORNER......DANCING SHIRTLESS!

S--H--I--R--T--L--E--S--S !!!!!!!

My jaw dropped. Mind you.....all these guys are straight (at least 3 of them that I know for a fact) and most of them came with their girlfriends...but now they are all dancing shirtless while the girls are on the side, cat-calling and whistling at them. LMFAO! At one point Delta Boy was swinging his wife-beater around in the air like a helicopter.

Clearly I have entered the Twilight Zone..........

Delta Boy: Hey man...where did you run off too....

Me: {mouth still agape} Ummmmm I had to piss

Delta Boy: Dude, come on...why do you still have your jacket and shirt on......join in we are all doing it!

UCF Girl: Yeaaaa.....you must be hot, take that shit off THIS INSTANT!

Delta Boy's Girlfriend: {reaches for my zipper}

UCF Girl: {grabs jacket collar from the back and starts to pull down}

So now at this point I'm thinking that I am having an out of body experience of some sort. Let's review........

- My friend basically lets me know that he knows I'm gay and is super supportive of it.
- Gets the club promoter to bring us to a gay club.
- Dances shirtless along with all the other guys in our group.
- ATTEMPTS to get his girlfriend and homegirl to strip me.

Yes that is right......you read that right.....I said ATTEMPT!! There is NO WAY I was taking off my clothes! LOLOL! You must be crazy girl...trying to strip me!

Me: I'm not taking off my clothes...yall are mad!

Delta Boy: Dude...fuck that....how do you expect to get free drinks up in this place.....if you want a guy to buy you a drink, well......you've gotta strip!!!!


Speechless......one word......speechless. Dude, are you advocating me taking my clothes off so guys will buy me drinks? Damnnnnnn you clearly are cool with this whole "gay thing" aren't cha! My goodness...never in my life would I have EVER imagined all this. N-E-V-E-R!

So I ended up taking my jacket off but I kept my shirt on because there was just no way I was getting shirtless....NO! I still have a lot of body issues to work out and compounded with the fact that my friend is trying to get me 1/2 naked in a gay club so I can get picked up....no, it's just tooo much. Maybe sometime in the FAR DISTANT future I can get comfortable enough to do that....but I am really not there yet....sorry to say.

Anyways...we stayed at Splash until 4 (the latest i've been out in NYC) drinking and dancing and having a good time pretty much. Delta Boy's gf even dared him to go talk to a drag queen and he went over there and chatted her up. WTF?!!?! LOLOLOL! Everyone thought it was the most hilarious thing...and he really got a kick out of it. I've gotta say, I found it quiet amusing myself.

We all reconvened outside to go our separate ways for the evening. Most of the party had to go uptown so I had to leave them there. Before I left, Delta Boy took me to the side and was like......

Delta Boy: Did you have a good time?

Me: Yea man...it was definitely a fun and memorable night.

Delta Boy: Good, good....I heard from "John" that this club gets pretty crazy on the weekends.....now you know where it is...you should come back and check it out bro! {slaps me on the back}

And everyone in the blogosphere collectively goes: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Haha, that was nice of him to say. Again, I had to stop myself from getting too emotional. He is such a great fucking guy...I'm glad I have him as a friend. What a crazy Thursday night huh?



*There is another big thing that happened to me last week that has nothing to do with the story that I will blog about soon....but this story definitely takes precedence over this next one.....although it is still pretty major....at least for me*

**and no it has nothing to do with sex**