How Do I Keep On Getting Into These Ridiculous Situations? (NSFW)

So in addition to being thankful for my family, friends, health and strength....I also have to take time out to be thankful for amazing bowel control...seeing as tho I was quite close to shitting myself this afternoon.

Why you ask?

Because.........my friends.........I WAS A FOOT AWAY from a real life porn star on the subway.....

I dunno if any of you are familiar with Roman Ragazzi but he is relatively new porn star who works with Raging Stallion, Collin O'Neal and some other studios. Please don't ask me how I know this information......a little birdie told me........I SWEAR TO YOU!





Those of you who are unfamiliar with his....ahem...."works" can familiarize yourselves by clicking here, here, here, here, here, annnnnddddddd here. You know, for educational/informational purposes only........

Anywho, back to my story. So CNN Boy and I were coming back from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (which was really plesant by the way...I will throw some pics up later....but this takes precedence LOL!) So as usual, we were having a good time taking pictures, laughing at the corniness of some of the floats/costumes....blah blah blah. Eventually we decided that we were hungry and since we were right near a B/C station......we decided to hop on the C.....take it downtown and see if anything good was open.

While we were on the train, I suggested that we get off at 14th......not because I had some ulterior motive behind roaming around Chelsea (LOL...i'm actually serious) but because I know that there is this great 24hr diner on 16th and 6th that I had a feeling would be open for Thanksgiving.

So we got off the train and we were chatting about something in particular.......which kinda escapes me right now....but honestly, it's irrelevant. LOL! What IS relevant however is the fact that I when I looked up (CNN Boy was lagging behind like two steps to my left and I was walking up the right hand of the stairs) freakin' Roman Ragazzi was two steps in front of my face...coming down the stairs!

Those of you out there with a grasp of trigonometry...along with a knack for constructing a good mental picture will realize that standing at 5'10 myself coupled with being situated about 2 steps down from Mr. Ragazzi would put my line of sight squarely....AT CROTCH LEVEL. LMAO!

This is a problem for a VARIETY of reasons........

#1: I did not realize it was him until my eyes traveled up his body (reflexively of course....shit...I am a gay man...you cant put a package like that in my face without expecting me to find out who it belongs to!)

#2: It left me in an EXTREMELY vulnerable position because after I saw his face, I was frozen for what seemed like forever! I mean, I've seen you in porn and now you are right in front of my fucking face irl! Shoot...I'm slick, but it is really hard to play shit like that off.....I've seen your peen for goodness sakes!

#3: I wasn't alone.....a fact that became INCREDIBLY EVIDENT when I heard CNN Boy finally come up on my left and pass me. That clearly brought me back to Mother Earth because I quickly side-stepped to my left to follow behind. Before I did tho...I looked back up at Roman's face....and he was wearing THE EXACT same expression as in the first pic above. Now I cannot decipher this look...it's somewhere between sexy/smoldering and mild annoyance. Seeing as tho I WAS in his way....and I am not physically impressive in the slightest....I am going to go with mild annoyance, however he generally seems like a pretty serious guy...so maybe that is just how his face is naturally...who knows?

Anyways.....when we got up the stairs, an interesting conversation ensued..............

CNN Boy: Had a hard time getting out of Rambo's way? {laughes}
Me: Wai.......whaaa?
CNN Boy: That guy back there {turns and points} he is like a fucking action figure
Me: {Insert nervous laugh} Yea, he is pretty swole
CNN Boy: He reminds me of those balloons we just saw...I bet if you poked him with a pin he would deflate {guffaws}
Me: HaHa....ur just angry because you've been hitting the gym and ur still scrawny like whoa!
CNN Boy: Fuck You!
Me: LMAO!

Soooooo, sitting back and thinking about it now.....I think I may have perhaps inadvertently 'kinda sorta' outed myself to CNN Boy. I mean clearly I was staring at Roman for a substantial amount of time...otherwise he wouldn't have had a reason to bring the whole 'getting out of Rambo's way' thing. He must be asking himself why on earth I was frozen in place when I saw him. The only silver lining of this whole fiasco is the fact that since CNN Boy is straight, there is really no way in hell he would know who Roman Ragazzi was because he only does gay porn. But then again.....I was staring at an attractive guy for who knows how long....and with him (CNN Boy) being situated behind me and to the left....he would probably be in the best position to observe my body language & facial expressions when I was in front of him. It doesn't make it any easier to explain...whether he is a random hot guy...or a major studio porn star...HE IS STILL A GUY...AND I WAS STARING [apparently].

I spent most of the day with CNN Boy...and he didn't act any differently or awkward towards me....so maybe I'm just over-thinking this. I can't help to think that I opened a can of worms today tho. We are good friends.....and I have no reason to think that he would take the news badly...he is a pretty liberal guy...but I'm just not ready to tell him yet, ya know? And I don't really want to be outed by freezing up in front of a porn star....haha. I'm gonna have to learn to control myself better.

But he was fucking hot.....10x better looking in person!

And built like a fucking...........

HOUSE!!!!